How are you doing today? I am okay. How was the club last night? Yeah I saw you with your girls. You were in the middle of the dance floor grinding on each other, making all the thirsty guys who don’t know their head from their a** drool with excitement. Then you went to the bar and did shots of patron with your girls acting a fool.
I over heard you saying something about your momma watching the baby tonight; your grandmamma watching the baby two nights ago; and how you trynna get one of their fathers to watch both of the kids so you can hit up the club tomorrow. Now don’t get me wrong I am all for a good time,..but when you act as though you are just itching to take the first man who says, “boo” to your home, it makes me wonder. When you abandon your children just to drop it like it’s hot several nights a week, it makes me wonder. How’s that amaretto sour tasting?…Good?
How’s it going? I see that you were doing well in school, but recently your grades have dropped. Why? You’re a senior, no time to waste. I heard you have been dating that guy down the hall, but isn’t he 20 and a junior? I remember you sobbing to your friends because he cheated on you with a couple of girls in the school and you fought them, just for him. He apologized to you and everything was cool,…for a hot second anyway.
The next time I saw you, you had a small bruise. You said it was ok when asked, but you told your girls he hit you. Two days later you’re talking to him in the hallway and he’s telling you how sorry he is and how much he loves you,…and you ate it up with a spoon. Why? He can’t help you with any of your studies. He’s not working but gets money somehow. And the whole world knows what type of drawers he’s wearing because he can’t seem to keep his pants up. And as long as he gives you some penis or takes you out somewhere, you seem to tolerate this. Again I ask why?
Hey, how goes it? I saw you yesterday in the cold, running down the street with your baby in its stroller and the other one clinging to your left arm. Oh, they had a doctor’s appointment and you were running late. You were helped on the bus by a good Samaritan and when you sat down we engaged in small talk. During our conversation you mentioned that one of their fathers has another family of his own, so he barely bothers with you. The other didn’t have any gas in his car to come pick you guys up and take you, after he promised you the night before. Oh, I see.
You aren’t with either of them, but every so often you go see him, or he comes over to “get a piece”. And sometimes he hits you off with $50.00 here and there. He hasn’t given you any money in a month, and you were backed up in paying the baby sitter. So help me understand this: you have two kids by two different men; you’re working 60 hours a week to take care of them because you refuse public assistance; you don’t ask for much or have either on child support; and you still keep trucking. Well I applaud you. I truly do. You should ask yourself, why did you get in this predicament in the first place.
These scenarios don’t have to happen.
You have sons and daughters that with or without fathers, still look to you for guidance. We need more Erykah Badu’s, Jill Scott’s, India Arie’s, and less Nicki Minaj’s, Rihanna’s and others who sell sex and have our young impressionable women looking towards them as examples of how to be. We need more hard working women, not ones looking for a come up. We need more wives, less baby mama’s.
Now don’t get me wrong I have nothing against women who are put in the position to raise our potential future leaders on their own, but think of the of the men you deal with and the possible repercussions you may face. You are beautiful creatures and deserve to be treated as such. However, if you carry on like what you see in the rap videos or the foolishness known as Reality TV (hello Buckeey, what up Evelyn Lozada) then you have set yourself up for failure. Stay strong, have faith in God and above all else know your worth. Don’t fall for the almighty meat missile. Just because it feels good doesn’t necessarily mean it is good.
Peace and God bless.
Updated 01/15/19, Originally entitled, “Woman, Thou art Loosed…uh..Lost…er..Loved? Letters to my Sistah(s)”