Oops! My Fault: Social Hiccups Men Must Avoid

embarrassed1 - OpinionatedMale.com

In life we do and say many things. There are times we don’t think before we speak and our foot winds up in our mouths, or we say things we don’t really mean just to get out of an awkward situation. When navigating through this road we call “Life”, here are some things that’ll help you avoid the breakdown lane or getting pulled over by the social police.

Complimenting Someone’s Child

We all see cute babies. Some are cuter than others, and we tend to compliment the mother or father for having said cute baby. Sometimes we might tell a parent they have a cute little girl in regards to a very young infant, but it could be a boy. Lets be real, sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference especially if they’re wearing neutral colors (white, black, grey). However, you are NOT to say you have a cute son or daughter if they’re older than toddlers. Like for  instance, you tell a parent, “you have a cute daughter“…and she’s 12. Uuuhh can we say, awkward? And the same applies to a little boy.  Just say, “Your son is handsome”, or “Your daughter is pretty...and “she looks just like you” (to a woman of course). You don’t want to come across looking like a creep.

Making Another Man A Plate

brother cooking -OpinionatedMale.com
“How you like your eggs my dude – fried or fertilized”?

This one is a no bueno. The ONLY, and I mean the ONLY exception is if you’re having a cookout and you have the rice, chicken, etc inside, with the burgers, hotdogs and ribs, etc outside and you don’t want people going through your kitchen to make themselves a plate. In this instance, you can make them a plate. However, they can serve themselves when it comes to the “outside food”. If you have a room mate who’s a dude and you happened to cook dinner, you can offer him some by letting him know he’s welcome to a plate. But making it and even leaving that sh** in the microwave for him…. no….No…and NO.

Manhugs

Man hugs should be a closed “dap/handshake” with an arm around the dude, or greet chest to chest. If it’s someone you haven’t seen in a long time, then that along with two pats on the back will suffice. If it’s a special/somber event (wedding, funeral,etc.) emotions do run high and a hug is okay. Otherwise there should be no embraces with your bodies rocking side to side.

Asking A Woman When She is Due

How do you know she just isn’t portly? So now not only are you accusing her of being pregnant but you just acknowledged she’s a little too pudgy. I know some people can tell the difference, but some just can’t. So don’t say anything. And if she’s pregnant but you’re not sure, wait for her to divulge that information.

Texting/Emailing Another Man With A Smiley Face

I don’t even have words or an explanation for that one. Actually I do. If you’re texting any man anything, the only or closest thing to a laugh/smile should be a “haa” or “LoL”. Do NOT put a smiley face or a smile emoticon in a text or email. It’s just that simple.

Playing Sports With Dudes & Over Patting Their Rear

Geovany Soto - OpinionatedMale
                  “I know he hit a home run, but I was just curious……”

I know men sometimes are very competitive and treat even the simplest pick up game of basketball or a football scrimmage like they’re really getting paid, and  may get lost in the moment of a good play and slap a dude on the butt with a compliment. Leave that to ONE slap ONE time. No pitter pat on the derriere, or no over enthusiastic slap. You’re letting him know he made a good play, not that he got a fatty.

Removing Something From A Man’s Face Or Body Part

Let him know he has it there and move on. If it’s something on his coat or if he has lint on the back of his shirt, letting him know and doing it for him is okay if he can’t reach it. Although make that clear, because some people are funny about even that. Anything on his face or exposed body part, let it be.

Bringing Alcohol To Someones Gathering/House

It would be considerate to let him/her know first, because they may not drink for religious or personal reasons. However, just showing up to someone’s place with a 5th of Hennessey and a case of Coronas without asking or knowing the person may not always be the best idea. Which brings me to….

Being An “Indian Giver”

Here’s the scenario: Shawn goes to his homeboys’ birthday party with a case of beer and a bottle. When the party is just about done and people are leaving for the evening, he decides to TAKE BACK what he brought. Ladies and fellas, whether it was used or not, you don’t do that. Leave it there. It was for the dude and the party. By doing this you not only look cheap, but also leave yourself with a bad reputation.

Showing Pics Of Your S*xual Exploits To Others

I know some dudes like to be kinky and frisky and have recorded themselves having s*x with an unsuspecting female. And I know they like to brag about whatever position they had the girl in or wanna show dudes how fat the booty was while hitting them doggy. However, you have to be mindful of this, because the same dudes you’re showing the video to don’t wanna see your ‘johnson’, especially if you didn’t film the shot the right way. In some cases you may not be able to avoid it being in the video, so here’s the solution: Keep the vids to yourself.

Having Too Much to Drink At An Event

getting-drunk - OpinionatedMale.com
                  “I have ashy knuckles, so you can trust me. Take that, take that”.

Especially at office parties this can be detrimental. You always run the risk of saying or doing something you may regret down the line: i.e., making a fool of yourself; or even worse, getting sick and vomiting all over the place. I’m not even going to mention driving yourself home. So drink in moderation and always practice proper decorum because what you do on a Friday or Saturday night shouldn’t to turn into workplace gossip on Monday.

Joking Around

jokes-Opinionatedmale.com

Remember the movie “Guess Who” when Ashton Kutcher had dinner with his girlfriend’s family and they were all cracking jokes and he had to say the one joke that almost got him mopped? Well that could be you too. Be careful what you joke about and who you joke with. Some people may not share your sense of humor or have a sense of humor at all (especially raunchy humor). Keep the jokes light and innocent or just not joke at all. You don’t want to be caught in an awkward position, especially if you’re meeting someone new or your significant others’ family for the first time.

Thats all for now.

Stay tuned for part 2…….

Peace

-Cortonio

8 thoughts on “Oops! My Fault: Social Hiccups Men Must Avoid

  1. This reminded of Billy Sorrells’ Man Code videos on YouTube. Really funny post. I never understood the pat on the ass. Kinda awkward. Okay, so he made a touchdown. Why you need to feel him up??!

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    1. Exactly….a simple high five would even work.. LoL. I never saw that youtube clip before, I’ll probably check it out. It’s funny because I have been in games where you see guys get overzealous smacking dudes a$$es after they score a basket or something, it’s done hard too. Watch the movie “Scary movie” and the scene with sean wayans after the football practice.

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  2. I have to admit, I give a side eye to any man that uses a smiley face in a text whether it’s to the same or opposite sex. Aside from it being plain awkward, I think I’m adult enough to know when someone is being lighthearted or flirty without the obligatory emoticon.

    As for bringing alcohol to someone’s house; I think a bottle of wine is appropriate; so long as you know that person partakes in a beverage or two. Bringing Hennessy is a no-no unless it’s Privilege or above. Leave the VS in the car…

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  3. agreed…although there are some people who aren’t liquor conosseiurs so they probably wouldn’t know the difference. If one is going to a house party they can probably swing with the ‘regular’ hennessey. By the way I’d be remiss if I didn’t welcome you to OM and thanks for the feedback.

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