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Liquor, Lust And Love: Escapades Of An Alcoholic

alcohol-sex - OpinionatedMale.com

I once knew a girl named Alize’

But I played her for her best friend Tanqueray
Then I left them both for E&J
But I wanted someone classy so I chose Chardonnay

One night she told me she wanted a threesome
So she invited in her friend Bacardi Rum
Both of them were at my mercy, then to my delight
In came Miss Limon followed by her girl Sprite

I knew homeboy was going to be in for the night
When I asked if this was it, she said, “No, not quite”
So unbeknownst to me guess who walks on in?
It was vodka strolling through with Seagrams Gin

I didn’t know I could handle so many
So I picked up the phone and called up Bailey’s and Henny
So we partied real hard until my lights were dim
Next morning I told my story to white porcelain

I wanted more, I’m telling you I’m truly addicted
I swear I don’t care how much my judgement is restricted
Because tonight man, I’m going to get lifted
My body feels like Hansberry, young black and gifted

The bartender tried to put me on to Jack Daniels that day
I looked at him and said, “Now you know I don’t swing that way”
I told him to hook me up with someone real exotic
So he gave me the number to this cute thang named Hypnotiq

She felt so good and she tasted so sweet
I asked her, “Tonight, are we gonna meet”?
She said, “Sure and if you wanna get real frisky,
I can bring my girl, her name is Whiskey”

So I stuck with them throughout the years
Many of which I caused my family grief and tears
But you know I cheated on them. No doubt
I messed with this Jamaican girl named Guinness Stout

Soon enough dealing with them got me into some trouble
One morning I woke up and my insides felt like a bubble
Pain cut through my stomach and chest like pieces of sliver
My body felt hot, but I couldn’t help but shiver
So I rushed to the doctor and he treated me even though I quivered
He gave me a look and said, “Son,… you just lost your liver”

– Cortonio

One comment on “Liquor, Lust And Love: Escapades Of An Alcoholic

  1. Teehee… those liquors will put you on your butt real quick.

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