Before I write another word let’s start with this scene from Coming to America starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall.
So with the comedy aside, which of those women (except Arsenio in drag of course) would be a turn off for you based on their situation? There are brothers (and sistahs too, don’t get the game twisted) that would let the other off real quick should they be privy to some unsavory info. Question is: Should a woman’s past be a deal breaker when meeting someone or starting a new relationship? Let’s delve into some scenario’s shall we? We’ll break them up into 3 categories:
* No deal
* Run for the hills
1. Had many sexual partners
Now some men can deal with this sort of thing depending on when the woman was at her ‘peak’ of bed buddies, or those men may have the giraffe theory – If I didn’t see it, it wasn’t there. I’m pretty positive most men can agree with me when I say it doesn’t matter as long as said female is being honest about her number of partners. However, I have to add the fact that she doesn’t have the same number of partners as her age. Your shoe size I’m sure it could totally be understood.
The reality is, we don’t want to be told you had 5, and then we find out that there’s 10 more to that list. It’s just out right dishonest. Ladies think of it this way: If we lied about our sex partners whether it was by one woman or eight women, would you still hang around long enough to make something work between us? Or would you get on your high horse and proceed to chastise and verbally castrate us for being ‘man whores’? Or would you take the simple honest route and gracefully bow out?
Category: Deal (depending on the actual number)
2. Used to be a man
Before I go any further, for the record I am not being insensitive or crude. If you are a transsexual/transgender and you’re reading this article then you can discontinue reading if you’re offended. If not, cool we can get along but I am going to shoot from the hip here. Two Words… No, actually four: Hell… To… The… Naw! Listen, I know they’re men out there who somehow, some way, feel that deep inside the crevasses of their manhood there’s actually a woman lurking somewhere. If you are and decide to go through the process of getting a sex change to become a woman, I can’t relate to you. Sorry, I just can’t. Men -at least 99% of us – want a partner who was BORN a woman, WANTS to be a woman, and continues to be a woman. Point blank.
Category: Run for the hills
3. Is/was a stripper
That song by T-pain is plain idiocy because why would you be in love with one? I for one am not a huge strip club fan anyway, but all men – I don’t care who- enjoys T&A period. Besides, when I was much younger I watched this show on Showtime called “G-String Divas” and I realized it was all a game to them (strippers) anyway.
Many men (not all) just can’t see the possibility of starting anything serious if you strip. I know it’s quick easy cash; and if you have a physique that’s very pleasing to the eyes and a man’s wallet, then it’s even quicker and easier cash. If you did it when in College years ago to pay bills/tuition and ALL you did was strip and you’re on to better things, it can possibly get a pass.
Bottom line, we don’t want a woman where everyone else is privy to what we and only WE should be enjoying.
Category: No Deal
4. Pulled a Lorena Bobbitt, perhaps Al Green’d or Andre Rison’d a spouse
If you don’t know what happened to Green or Rison look it up on Google. Listen ladies, men will screw up sometimes. Whether it be an honest mistake, a faulty slip, or something detrimental to a relationship. It is what it is. However, we don’t want to be victimized or scorned by psychotic women behavior. Letting us sleep on the couch, denying cutty for the night, not speaking for a couple of days, or even breaking it off are things we can cope with. Let’s be clear though, if you have those type of [psychotic] tendencies, um….can’t do it.
Category: Run for the hills
5. Been to jail
It all depends on what it was for because you can go to jail for anything nowadays. If you had to whoop someone’s a$$ who accosted you back in the day, then hey do what you have to do.
Category: going to lean on the fence with No Deal / Deal. Again, it depends.
6. Former Drug Addict/Alcoholic
Drugs just like alcohol can go from a little enjoyment to the point where your life can spiral out of control. One can lose their job, friends, and even family. If you are a former addict but you’ve been clean and sober for a long time and are doing great things with your life, congrats are in order. Everyone deserves a second chance, as long as they’re not going to fall off the wagon. Think of how many people (celebrities and athletes included) were drug and/or alcohol addicts and have become role models for others.
7. Cheated on a Spouse(s)/Boyfriend(s)
Although women can do this ONE time to ONE man and there could be a plethora of reasons why she did. In the end, what’s to make you think she won’t do it to you as soon as things go sour? Whereas she may not, and could be as loyal as the family pet (for lack of a better term), but would you want to take that chance?
Category: No Deal
So fellas of OM, do you agree with this list? What are some other possible deal breakers for you? While going for a girl, what was that one thing she used to do that killed it for you? Under what conditions would you tolerate it? Ladies of OM, what are some of the deal breakers you’ve heard from men?
Stay tuned for the MEN’s version of salty past deal breakers.
Post title Update on 01/15/19. Originally entitled, “Should a Woman’s Salty Past be a Deal breaker?”