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Sex & Relationships

2 Reasons why You Should Avoid ‘Break Up Sex’

During my leisure time, which is seldom I might add, I was reading an article in a magazine on break up sex. And coincidentally a day or two later, I overheard some women on the transit talking about it. One of the women involved in the conversation seemed emotionally confused because she engaged in this with her ex, and at the same time, thought that there was a chance of them getting back together because of it. Maybe there was an ‘I love you’ thrown in, an ‘oh baby’  here, an ‘oh baby‘ there; who knows.  Anyway, it may be the best sex you’ve ever experienced, and maybe you do decide to get back together.

It left me wondering though – does this actually happen a lot? What happens if the sex is so good you decide:  “Well.. I can stick it out“. What if emotions get caught up and turned all around in disarray like the young lady aforementioned? If you ask my opinion (we are opinionated male right?), break up sex is pointless. If you’re going to break up with someone, it means one of two things:

1) You no longer have feelings for the person

So why would you illicit any false sense of emotion from her or him by having sex?

Think of this: You are in a relationship and whether you two grew apart,  perhaps one grew up while the other didn’t, or there is no longer the chemistry and camaraderie that once existed,  you leave right? Put it this way: time goes by you fall out of love, and the things that person used to do – which you hardly batted an eye for – suddenly irks the dickens out of you.

Readers I’m sure you’ve all been there. Eventually things must come to an end, no?

Having said that, why set up a potential emotionally damaging rendezvous? Most (not all) men can relate to having sex with their woman although they’ve mentally checked out simply because:  she’s there, she’s still physically attractive, and the cutty is still damn good.

All in all, if you’re going to leave then do so; of course don’t be a d*ck about it.

No need for ‘break up’ sex. It’s pretty fruitless to me.

2) He/She did something egregious

So egregious, you had to part ways. So again, why have sex?

Cheating, beating, and just acts of outright disrespect that you wouldn’t tolerate. Readers think of the many things that your significant other/spouse would do where there’s no turning back from it. There is no shot of forgiveness or reconciliation. You really want to have sex after being treated that way? That’s all I need to  say on the matter. Again, why even bother with parting relations?

Most women view sex as more emotional than physical, so as a man why even go there?  If you have any thoughts on break up sex, no need to dive into that water when you’re not sure how to swim in it. Break up sex = No Bueno.

Readers what are your thoughts on Break up Sex? Have you engaged in it before or ever thought about it? Could break up sex actually turn into make up sex? Why DO people engage in it? What say you?

peace and stay blessed

“…Smart Men Rock”



01/15/19 Post title updated. Original title, “Make Up To Break Up: Two Reasons Why You Should Avoid ‘Break Up Sex’”

My motto is, "Live, love and laugh". Check me out in the "Men Behind The Pen" section on


  • veshu

    I have engaged in break up sex about three weeks ago. I wen through a horrible break up with my ex. A very hurtful, emotional, and life changing break up. I had make up sex for some of the reasons you announced. I was hurt no doubt but I stilled loved him and was still in love with him. Not only was I out drinking that night, that took a part in my awful choice. I had hopes that we could get back together. some how some way make it work. the whole time he had something up his sleeve. when I fell asleep he put sugar in my tank. surely I broke down on my way home the next morning. when I called him days later and accused him he admitted it in so many words. That open my eyes to realize there is no coming back from the horrible things he has done and having break up sex only allowed him to do even more damage. Break up sex is a big No No.

    • Cortonio

      welcome to Opinionated Male, and yes it can be a very emotionally debilitating experience. I’m glad you were able to learn and move on from this situation

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