10 Signs it’s Time to Move Into Your own Place

Aaaahhhh…here we are. You have reached adulthood and now the side eye-ing, innuendos, and sarcastic snarky comments start from the folks. You are now being monitored when you partake in food; your pockets are being watched to see if you’ll contribute to the bills, and you seemingly have to walk on eggshells being around your parents. Well, when those incidents take place you know it’s about that time.

Now I understand people live at home with their parents should ‘father time’ get the absolute best of them (although your social and every other aspect of your life will dwindle considerably, but they’re your folks…right?!). I also acknowledge some may stay and save up money for their first house and can totally relate to those who ventured on their own, fell on difficult times, and had to move back home.

And for those of you who aren’t in the know, some cultures actually encourage you stay home and live with your folks – no need to move out (unless you are married). However, if you’re of age, then maybe you should consider leaving the nest. If any of these things happen to you, maybe it’s that time.

1. You have no privacy with female company

Now we all get the ‘respect your parents house’ factor, however some parents don’t mind if you have female company. If you have to resort to staying in the living/family room and have no privacy whatsoever maybe you need to find some privacy aka your own place.

2. You still get treated like a child

We have those mothers, yes those loving mothers that will still cook, clean after you, do your laundry, and even lend you dough. And sometimes you can’t say no because you only have one mother. If she doesn’t mind doing so, well let it be. You have to draw a line somewhere though. I understand the cooking part because I know some brothers can’t boil water. However, you should be able to cook something more than Ramen noodles.

What happens if she starts cleaning your room? Hey, how about washing your clothes…AND putting them away?! If you actually tolerate this sort of thing, well no words for you brotha. That should make you feel uncomfortable.

3. You have to constantly fend for yourself

If you have to cook your own food, wash all your own clothes, pay all your own bills, you know grown man stuff or big man ting dem’ (for all the yardees)…you might as well BE on your own right? So do that.

4.”You’re living under my roof…”

Well if you have to hear that, you should get your own roof right. I mean damn, imagine you as an adult having to even partake in THAT conversation with your folks. C’mon Son!

5. Your room slowly transitions into another

No real need to explain here. If you notice it morphing into mom’s sun room, or dad’s man cave or another room of some sort, you don’t need to hear it – you already know what to do.

6. You still have curfews

Imagine this: You’re on a rendezvous and you literally have to be in the house by a certain time. No bueno. If you find yourself having to ring the bell to get in the house or being locked out the house because you’re too late, then you gots.. to.. go. Can you imagine being 27 and having to be in the house the same time when you were 17?! Because it’s their house their rules… Yikes.

7. You’re doing chores

Shoveling snow, raking leaves, you know manual things are no problem. After all, if you’re living at home are you really going to expect your dad to shovel out your car? I mean the simple fact your parents are probably senior citizens or closing in on it, you shouldn’t expect them to be doing any manual labor. However, if you’re taking out the trash, doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, you might as well do that in your own home, not your parents.

8. Your parents are more liberal sexually

What if you start seeing your parents getting frisky around the house? Hearing  *ahem*..noises coming from various rooms?

How about even coming home and catching them doing the ‘johnson booty dance’ in the kitchen?

What do you do?

Do you:
A) Move out
B) Move out
C) Stay and don’t mind at all

9. You hardly get laid

Once again we revisit the respect for the parents house. It’s a tough one because you sit there and ask yourself, “What am I doing here”? Yeah it’s cool to christen the vehicle but that should be on some spontaneous, spur of the moment, freaky type stuff. That typically shouldn’t be an option. Here’s part of the conversation with her: “Yeah this is where it has to be…Sorry“. What are your other choices: Rent hotel rooms constantly? Always go to her place?

Here’s a conundrum: What if she lives with her parents too? To be totally truthful ,if you want to have your social, dating, and ‘smashing’ game in order you have to leave the crib. No woman wants to cross paths with your mother as she’s going to the bathroom to freshen up the next morning.

Seriously though, ponder on this for a moment: What’s going to happen when you’re done with the lady? Sneak her out? Let me guess – which door? Front or back? Through the basement? The window? That’s just too much to think about and deal with. Last you checked you two ARE adults, so there shouldn’t be sneaking to do anything. I don’t care how good your pipe game is, a woman will tolerate that for only so long.

10. This happens

Just sayin.

So readers, what are some other signs its time for a man to move out out of the nest and into his own place? At what age is it too old for a man to still live at home? Do the same rules apply if he has a roomate?

Post title Updated on 01/15/19, Post originally entitled, “No She Doesn’t Want To Sleep On Your Spiderman Sheets: 10 Reasons It’s Time To Move Into Your Own Place”