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No She Doesn’t Want To Sleep On Your Spiderman Sheets: 10 Reasons It’s Time To Move Into Your Own Place

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Aaaahhhh…here we are. You have reached adulthood and now the side eye-ing, innuendos, and sarcastic snarky comments start from the folks. You are now being monitored when you partake in food; your pockets are being watched to see if you’ll contribute to the bills, and you seemingly have to walk on eggshells being around your parents. Well, when those incidents take place you know it’s about that time.

Now I understand people live at home with their parents should ‘father time’ get the absolute best of them (although your social and every other aspect of your life will dwindle considerably, but they’re your folks…right?!). I also acknowledge some may stay and save up money for their first house and can totally relate to those who ventured on their own, fell on difficult times, and had to move back home.

And for those of you who aren’t in the know, some cultures actually encourage you stay home and live with your folks – no need to move out (unless you are married). However, if you’re of age, then maybe you should consider leaving the nest. If any of these things happen to you, maybe it’s that time.

1. You can’t have privacy with female company

Now we all get the ‘respect your parents house’ factor, however some parents don’t mind if you have female company. If you have to resort to staying in the living/family room and have no privacy whatsoever maybe you need to find some privacy aka your own place.

2. Your well of age but still get the kiddie treatment

We have those mothers, yes those loving mothers that will still cook, clean after you, do your laundry, and even lend you dough. And sometimes you can’t say no because you only have one mother. If she doesn’t mind doing so, well let it be. You have to draw a line somewhere though. I understand the cooking part because I know some brothers can’t boil water. However, you should be able to cook something more than Ramen noodles.

What happens if she starts cleaning your room? Hey, how about washing your clothes…AND putting them away?! If you actually tolerate this sort of thing, well no words for you brotha. That should make you feel uncomfortable.

3. You have to constantly fend for yourself

If you have to cook your own food, wash all your own clothes, pay all your own bills, you know grown man stuff or big man ting dem’ (for all the yardees)…you might as well BE on your own right? So do that.

4.“You’re living under my roof…”, “My house my rules…”

Living-With-Parents 1- OpinionatedMale.com

Well if you have to hear that, you should get your own roof right. I mean damn, imagine you as an adult having to even partake in THAT conversation with your folks. C’mon Son!

5. Your room slowly starts transitioning into another

No real need to explain here. If you notice it morphing into mom’s sun room, or dad’s man cave or another room of some sort, you don’t need to hear it – you already know what to do.

6. You still have curfews

Imagine this: You’re on a rendezvous and you literally have to be in the house by a certain time. No bueno. If you find yourself having to ring the bell to get in the house or being locked out the house because you’re too late, then you gots.. to.. go. Can you imagine being 27 and having to be in the house the same time when you were 17?! Because it’s their house their rules… Yikes.

7. You’re doing chores

Shoveling snow, raking leaves, you know manual things are no problem. After all, if you’re living at home are you really going to expect your dad to shovel out your car? I mean the simple fact your parents are probably senior citizens or closing in on it, you shouldn’t expect them to be doing any manual labor. However, if you’re taking out the trash, doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, you might as well do that in your own home, not your parents.

8. Your parents are more liberal sexually

Catching-Your-Parents-Having-Sex1 - OpinionatedMale.com

What if you start seeing your parents getting frisky around the house? Hearing  *ahem*..noises coming from various rooms?

How about even coming home and catching them doing the ‘johnson booty dance’ in the kitchen?

What do you do?

Do you:

A) Move out

B) Move out

C) Stay and don’t mind at all

9. You hardly get laid

Once again we revisit the respect for the parents house. It’s a tough one because you sit there and ask yourself, “What am I doing here”? Yeah it’s cool to christen the vehicle but that should be on some spontaneous, spur of the moment, freaky type stuff. That typically shouldn’t be an option. Here’s part of the conversation with her: “Yeah this is where it has to be…Sorry“. What are your other choices: Rent hotel rooms constantly? Always go to her place?

Here’s a conundrum: What if she lives with her parents too? To be totally truthful ,if you want to have your social, dating, and ‘smashing’ game in order you have to leave the crib. No woman wants to cross paths with your mother as she’s going to the bathroom to freshen up the next morning.

Seriously though, ponder on this for a moment: What’s going to happen when you’re done with the lady? Sneak her out? Let me guess – which door? Front or back? Through the basement? The window? That’s just too much to think about and deal with. Last you checked you two ARE adults, so there shouldn’t be sneaking to do anything. I don’t care how good your pipe game is, a woman will tolerate that for only so long.

10. This happens

Just sayin.

So readers, what are some other signs its time for a man to move out out of the nest and into his own place? At what age is it too old for a man to still live at home? Do the same rules apply if he has a roomate?

—Cortonio

As always Peace and God Bless

“…Smart Men Rock”

6 comments on “No She Doesn’t Want To Sleep On Your Spiderman Sheets: 10 Reasons It’s Time To Move Into Your Own Place

  1. #7. Made me pause. Because if a guy IS staying with his parents for financial reasons (or otherwise), I would HOPE homie doesn’t leave it to his mother to do his laundry, his dishes, and to clean the pee splatter off the toilet. In that case, your entire list would be a moot point, because that means a guy should *never* be living with his parents just so he can do chores in his own house. lol.

    I know rules are different for guys/girls, but I wish I DID live in my mama’s house without cleaning up after myself chore-wise. LOL. Wheeeere do they do that at? 🙂

    • I actually meant that as a grown man if you’re doing chores around the house like you would as a child/teen why not get your own place and be liberated then and there….Why would you have to have your mom or dad run behind you and remind you of what chores need to be done. I’m not saying you should leave your parents house a mess in the least. But imagine you’re about to step out for the day/evening and your mom is asking you “did you clean your room?”…”did you feed the dog/take the dog for a walk?”…etc.

  2. Or you could just do like my Mama did and say, “once you graduate from high school, you have to leave my house”. Worked for 4 girls and one boy, and we never moved back home AND she did not babysit grandkids overnight. Home girl did not play the piano!

    • LoL…no baby sitting huh??
      wow..but don’t you think 18 (assuming that’s the age they graduated) is a bit young to branch out on your own?

      unless you’re giving me a few g’s in start up money. Although I do know some people who were out the house by 18,19 but a couple of them got pregnant. But in my humble opinion 18 is a bit young to leave..

  3. In my personal opinion I feel a man should at least be out of the by 23. I think the terms are a different for a woman, because essentially 2 women (mother & daughter) could never be in a house together. There can only be one woman of the household. So women, tend to leave the nest earlier. I personally left at 17 and haven’t looked back. My younger brother however is 21 and still sitting very comfortable.

    Now that I am 27, I really find it hard to date men who live alone, they may be in a room mate situation. Which is acceptable for the most part. However I would not date a man who lived at home. There is just no way I can get around that. I have my own place and have had it every since I left home, (no room mates for me) So i need some one who can match my fly…

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