[Admin Note: Today’s featured guest post is brought to you by the letters Q-U-E-E… Ladies and gentlemen, please give another warm Opinionated Male welcome to Queen Sierra.]
What is the definition of ‘having it all’ as a young woman?
Raised by an incredible black mama I have been encouraged to believe that I am a super woman and can have it all. Yet the promise of having it all is my achilles heel. My quest for perfection has been my daily objective, however I find myself falling short. Far from perfect and surrounded by life goal check lists, a sense of not being good enough has recently kicked in. This makes me question if it is even feasible for a woman to have it all and more importantly, what does ‘having it all’ even mean?
In my naive attempts to construct an answer, I believed having it all meant giving 100% of myself to every area of my life. This includes academia, my career, romance, spirituality, family, friends, health and fashion. This is already a mouthful of a list. An exhausting one if I may honestly even say so. The struggle to balance such a list is an ongoing and never ending one.
I have come to realize that it is irrational to believe I can ‘have it all’ all at the same time because the promise of ‘having it all’ all at the same time is simply unattainable. I now understand that I can have what I want and that my path to happiness is a personal choice, not attained from completing a check list comprised of social pressures and deadlines.
The secret for the 21st century woman having it all is being clear about what is important to you.
Here are the five steps to having it all.
- Be clear about what you want. Get rid of the arbitrary check lists and really focus on what makes you happy. Start by creating not a checklist, but a list of moments that make you happy and categorize these moments to form a clear picture of the areas in your life you should focus on.
- Narrow your list down to five key areas that you are able to dedicate your energy.
- Create a strategic plan on how to be effective in these areas.
- Learn how to say “No” and turn off social media.
- Change your attitude to change your life.
You manifest what you focus on. Start reading. There is nothing new under the sun. There are solutions for every problem. Use your mind to create a better life for yourself.