**Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Miss K.K. for another guest post.
‘Sup readers! If you checked out part 1, I covered some of the mind numbing, borderline hair pulling things brothas do. Now sit back and check out the sequel.
For sh*ts and giggles (R.I.P. Tommy)
Both of these will drive your damsel crazy. Like, Jack Nicholson “The Shining” crazy. If I can work two jobs and you work one or none, Negro you should at least be able to take out the trash and mop the floor. Conversely, if I can make time for a date night, you should be able to do some creative shuffling of your schedule and get it done too. Again, no woman wants to play second fiddle especially if its to Madden or your job.
Priorities being what they are, something’s gotta come first; and if you choose to be in an exclusive relationship, guess what moved to the top of your list? Women are attracted to goal-oriented, driven men, so you will need a job in order to be considered long-term relationship material. You must also maintain that employment if you want to stay in said exclusive long-term relationship, but it should not take precedence over your romantic relationship.
Now if you both decide that you have a common financial goal such as the impending birth of a child, saving for a house or vehicle, or planning a wedding or vacation, then it might be a mutual agreement that work (or rather money) is a short-term focus with an agreed upon end date. Since you both have agreed that this is acceptable – and hopefully there’s a circled date on each of your calendars reminding you that this will end – it doesn’t consume your relationship, nor is it one sided. Ambition is great, just be mindful what the cost of greatness is to you.
On the flip side, if you lose your job and you have a true ride-or-die chick, she will hold you down. This too, should come with a circled date on both of your calendars. We live in volatile economic times. Ladies, it’s a reality that your man may lose his job. But if he takes this as opportunity to hone his Call of Duty skills, again we got pro’lems. We don’t live in the era where you physically hit the streets to look for work, but your fingers better be doing all the walking on the ‘net scouring high and low for your next employment opportunity.
Guys, in between application submissions you should be house cleaning, dinner cooking, and child homework helping. Why? Because your woman can do all this AND work a job with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. Don’t change that sweet melody to a sour tune with outright laziness. Women see this as you taking advantage of their kindness and every woman’s grandmother has instructed her to keep a gainfully employed man or at least a man that’s willing to work.
Women brag about their man’s job or ability to always find work in tumultuous financial seasons, and we wear your accomplishments like a badge of honor. It makes us proud to be with someone that is doing something with their lives and able to enrich our own. Even if you can’t buy your woman a bracelet, throw some groceries in her fridge or some gas in her car on the reg and watch the appreciation flow.
Up or Down
So, you probably saw this one coming but the toilet seat thing. When you bought it in the store, it was down. When you walked past the display in Home Depot, most likely it was down. If you potty train a child of either gender, the seat is, you guessed it, DOWN. So why on God’s beautiful green Earth must you leave it UP???!!! When you walked up to it, you had to lift it. Did you forget that quickly? If you had the bubble guts at 3 am that fell upon you so swiftly and violently that you wished your toilet included a seat belt, I guarantee that it would thoroughly upset you if your booty fell into toilet water at this moment. In fact, the only other time it should be lifted, is when its being cleaned and how often do you take on that task? Bottom line: put things back the way you found it or be considerate. Or better yet, get proficient at aiming with the seat in the state you found it – down.
Hygiene or lack thereof
Remember Martin’s first standup comedy movie in which he mocked women for having body odor despite a whole aisle in the store being dedicated to its eradication? Well, yeah fast forward 20 some years and you too now have your own aisle and your body funk is no laughing matter. If you open your mouth, lift your arms, or remove your shoes and a wholly unpleasant foul fragrance assaults your lovely lady’s nostrils and extirpates any plants or small pets in the immediate area, you have an inexcusable issue.
With all the sports that you consume via TV and the net, you should also notice the ubiquitous marketing of personal hygiene products that promise you popularity and beautiful women. Take heed, because it’s not entirely false. You will not get far in life, let alone with women if you have musty pits and salted roasted nuts on a regular basis. It does not diminish you one bit to make sure that you are thoroughly cleaned and delightfully scented.
Did I miss anything? Have you ever been relegated to the sofa or rendered lady less because of any of these actions? What say you my people?