Why I HATE the term ‘single mother’
- only one in number; one only; unique; sole (2) of, relating to, or suitable for one person only (3) solitary or sole; lone:
I will preface this by saying there are no qualms on my end on single mothers – women who are literally taking care of their child(ren) on their own because of the father willingly…WILLINGLY…walking away from the home and its responsibilities. If you have to work, cook, clean, pay all the expenses and provide childcare while maintaining yourself, then continue doing the best you can in raising our potential future leaders and upstanding members of society. Mozeltov to you single moms!
Who isn’t a ‘single mom’
For those who use the title ‘Single Mom’ because you view it as a congressional medal of honor – a badge of some sort to help you feel better about yourself – well, finger of shame to you. Perplexed? Allow me to break it down to you.
- If you’re receiving child support and/or some sort of government assistance.
- The father is actively and consistently engaged in the child(ren’s) lives and doesn’t have issues providing
- In some/most cases you are able to have a night out while having someone (not including the father) to watch the children for a few hours
How are you a single mother / parent? Because you don’t have a man? Because you and the father aren’t together? I’m confused. Under these circumstances, you are not a single mother. You are a single woman with child(ren).
Who is a ‘single mother’
I know women personally who have to do everything for their child(ren). They play both mommy and daddy and couldn’t get any assistance (WIC, Food stamps, housing) because their salary dictates they are a smidgeon of ‘deserving’ any. And the father either doesn’t work or works under the table not providing a thing. I daresay, they are the ones who have the right to call themselves a single mom.
I’ll give you an example. I remember a woman who shared a story with me on how her children’s father left her when the children were young. Her friends pleaded for her to put the dad on child support. However strong in her convictions and bearing a lot of pride, she chose to take care of the children on her own. Additionally, since she was fairly new to the states she had no family to help with anything. In my humble opinion, such a circumstance is a text book definition of single motherhood.
I hear women many times use the phrase “I’m a single parent“. “I can’t xyx because I have ‘x’ kids and I’m by myself“, or “It’s tough being a single mother“. However, if you’re circumstances mirrors any items on the aforementioned bulleted list, how are you a single mother? Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely instances where some fathers are content in paying support only and aren’t actively involved as a parent. That, unfortunately, is a reality for a number of ‘broken families’ and single mother households. I guess my overall point is this: it would behoove women to self-reflect and take a look at their situation before jumping in line to become the next card-carrying member of the ‘Single Mother’s club’.
My response to Shannon Sharpe & Skip Bayless
Check out this video clip of Skip Bayless and Shannon Sharpe analyzing LeBron’s response to Charles Barkley.
Did I miss something or they really got on Charles Barkley for leaving Philadelphia in 1992? He was traded to the Suns during the summer of 1992. The Sixers won 50+ games only once in the previous six years. Despite him scoring 23 ppg with 11 rebounds, the Suns missed the playoffs his last year there.
Charles never complained about not having help but he knew that team was going nowhere. They didn’t make the playoffs until six years later. Meanwhile, with the Suns, they boasted a perennial All-Star in Kevin Johnson, a sharpshooting athletic dynamo in Dan Majerle, and Tom Chambers – although past his prime – averaged 16.3 points per game. They were seemingly a player away from the promised land. Shannon and Skip blaming Charles for being traded to a team that was mediocre at best to go to a team that was already a title contender doesn’t make much sense. In the previous 4 seasons, they won 50+ games and went to the Western Conference finals twice. And by the way, Charles won MVP his first season there and went to the NBA finals losing to…you guessed it…the Chicago Bulls and his Airness (Michael Jordan).
Lebron was already on a great team. They only went to the NBA finals the previous 2 years winning one of them. When will this era of whiny entitled players end?
We don’t allow Black hairstyles in wrestling
I found it totally whack that high school wrestler Andrew Johnson had to cut his locks before a big wrestling match. What the hell were they thinking, that he was Sampson? Did the believe the more hair he had the stronger he would be? It was bullsh*t on all levels. I can perhaps understand one making that personal hair cutting decision if he/she were in the process of landing a big corporate gig that paid handsomely. But other than that…yeah…yall missed me with that one. And he still won the damn match. Go figure.
Peace and Blessings