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Run yo’ trophy!! Biggest award robberies in pro sports

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“Are you serious??!”

“Wait….hold up, he won?”

” (Player X) did better than him, how dafuq did he win?!”

Sound familiar? Well to all you sports fans out there I’m sure you’ve muttered these phrases at some point upon finding out a well deserving player was snubbed out of an award by a player that’s also very good but shouldn’t have won an award over him. “Well run yo trophy bruh, I gots ta have it”.

We’ll take a look at some of the biggest robberies of awards in pro sports. I’m sure you have plenty of your own, so be sure to leave them in the comments section. Let’s rap!

Albert Belle, Mo Vaughn (1995 AL MVP)

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For a long time Cleveland was the laughing stock of baseball, but shrewd moves and drafts built this team into a juggernaut powerhouse. Complete with hitting, pitching, and sound fielding Cleveland became one of the elite teams in baseball. One of the reasons is in part to Albert Jojuan Belle. A fearsome hitter throughout his career, he put trepidation in opposing pitchers across major league baseball. His stretch from 1993-1997 was something of beauty. With a combination of power and contact he raked the ball to the tune of a .309 batting average,  45 home runs, 124 RBIs and finished in the top 3 in MVP voting three times.

In 1995, during a strike shortened 144-game season, he batted .317, 50 Home runs 126 RBIs, with an OPS (on base slugging percentage) of 1.091. MVP? Sure. Well, not so fast, he came in 2nd to Mo Vaughn who also a big time slugger and about as clutch a hitter Boston fans could remember. Vaughn hit .300, 39 home runs, 126 RBIs, and an OPS of .963 but it dwarfed that of Belle’s. Coincidentally, that year, the Indians beat the Red Sox in the playoffs en route to the World series.

Pedro Martinez, Ivan Rodriguez (1999 AL MVP)

This was in the minds of many sports analysts one of the biggest snubs. If there was an epitome of Most Valuable Player, Martinez was it. And the only reason he didn’t win was because writer George King left him off of his ballot. During his 8 years in Boston, he was a pure spectacle to watch. And he did all this during the infamous steroid era of baseball.  In 1999 he upped the ante and turned in his best season as a pro, going 23-4 with a 2.08 ERA & 312 strikeouts. In 213 innings pitched he only allowed 160 hits, 37 walks, and a putrid 9 home runs.

In addition to being an elite starting pitcher, he was always there to lend a helping arm in relief (watch the 1999 game 5 Division series vs Cleveland). ‘Pudge’ put up great numbers, and gave the Rangers pitching staff a boost with his work behind the plate, but this was Pedro’s year.

Jason Kidd, Tim Duncan (2002 MVP)

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The fact the Nets doubled their win total from the previous year (26-52) by merely swapping the talented but mercurial Stephon Marbury for Jason Kidd with the rest of the roster intact should speak for itself. Oh, and by the way, that year the Nets went to the first of back to back NBA finals.

Kidd, a perennial All-Star, known for his supreme overall skills turned around the moribund franchise and gave the Nets fans something to cheer about. During that season he was also named to the All-NBA 1st team, All Defensive team, voted an All-Star, led the league in assists, and was one of only two non forwards or centers to place top 30 in rebounding. While this was the norm for him, that would be a dream season for most players. Unfortunately, this was the only time he would finish that close to getting MVP honors.

Kobe Bryant, Steve Nash (2006 MVP)

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Steve pulled a ‘Jason Kidd’ in 2004-05 taking the Phoenix Suns with a 21-61 record the year before and guiding them to a 62-win season (coincidentally enough, Phoenix had Stephon Marbury that previous year). For his lack of defense on the court, he was a wizard at everything else. And for that feat Nash won MVP, and rightfully so.

However, the 2005-06 season Kobe Bryant played with a team that was very sub par talent-wise (Lamar Odom is/was an exception),dragged them to the playoffs with a 45-37 record, and came within a whisker of upsetting the aforementioned Suns in the first round. During that season, Bryant averaged an eye popping 35 points, including 5 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 steals, and shot 45%. Big scoring nights were abundant for him, including 62 vs the Dallas Mavericks, and 81 vs the Toronto Raptors. In the eyes of many, for that herculean effort, he deserved the award over Nash. He already boasted 2 all-stars on his team in Shawn Marion and Amare’ Stoudemire.

Pedro Martinez, Barry Zito (2002 Cy Young)

Although Barry Zito was establishing himself as a dominant pitcher, Mr. Martinez was still a force to be reckoned with. A year removed from having major shoulder surgery he came back with a vengeance. He won 20 games and was taking aim at his 4th Cy Young award (a 3rd within 4 years). Yet, it was not to be that year as Zito had the hardware.

If you compare stats, Pedro bested Zito in virtually every category. He had a lower ERA, gave up fewer hits, walks, home runs, and total runs. He had fewer losses, threw more strikeouts, complete games, and shut outs. So how DID Barry win?? Pedro would receive redemption later in his career as he won a title with the Red Sox in 2004 and was voted in the Hall of Fame two summers ago. He’ll always be regarded one of the greatest pitchers in baseball history.

Frank Thomas, Jason Giambi (2000 AL MVP)

6 Apr 2001: Jason Giambi accepts the AL MVP award before Opening Night at Network Associates Colesium against the Anaheim Angels in Oakland, California. Mandatory Credit: Jed Jacobsohn/ALLSPORT

Jason Giambi had already been linked to steroids and eventually confessed to doing so. Having said that, Thomas who up to now hasn’t been linked (nor confessed) and put up better stats should have won MVP. ‘Nuff said. Thomas had more hits, runs, home runs, RBI, and doubles. Although the White Sox had a murderers row of a line up, Frank Thomas was the anchor behind it. In addition to that, they posted their best season in 18 years at 95-67; and they went to the playoffs for the first time in 7 years.

Jacoby Ellsbury, Justin Verlander (2011 AL MVP)

There will probably be a lot of mixed opinions on this one, but if the argument is that pitchers shouldn’t win MVP because they only pitch every 5 days, then why was Verlander the exception? Don’t get me wrong, he rightly deserved the Cy Young that year, but MVP?

Jacoby Ellsbury had a career year in hits (212) home runs and RBI (32 and 105) and doubles. Perhaps the fact the Red Sox took a precipitous tumble in September (7-20 in their final 27 games) kept him from getting the award.

Let’s get back to Verlander for a second. If  you compared him to Pedro Martinez 1999 campaign he had more losses  (4-5) one less win (23-24) had a higher ERA (2.07-2.40)and  gave up more hits, walks, home runs, and had less strikeouts than Martinez. (313-251). Hmmmmm….

Mario Lemieux, Wayne Gretzky (1989 Hart trophy)

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No doubt Gretzky was the premier player in the NHL, but he had a surging Mario Lemeiux hot on his trail. And while he led the NHL in many categories and took home awards or came in a close runner up years before; Mario was simply better this year. A 23 year-old Lemeiux blessed with speed, finesse, and outstanding hockey IQ led the Penguins in all offensive categories. Head to head he had more points, assists, and overall plus/minus than Gretzky, and the Kings and Penguins were very similar in won-loss and playoff results.

So OM readers and sports heads what other snubs at MVP (or any other award) went missing here? Are there any other glaring omissions. Talk to me.

-Cortonio

Cortonio 1 -OpinionatedMale.com

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Don’t renege my N*g! 7 life saving Spades tips to avoid getting your head bust to the white meat

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[**Editor’s note: That has got to be the bougie’est looking spades game I have ever seen. Almost a little too bougie. Im side eyeing the woman in pink. Can’t trust them excessively low, easy access neckline wearing for a ‘friendly’ game of cards chicks. I’m 99.9% sure she is hiding a razor in her brassiere. You know…just in case. #SpadesShenanigans]

You’re sitting at the table. The four of you looking around to see who wins. You glance at the score to see it’s deadlocked 240-240 (game to 300), and you need 6 books to score the victory. You look at your hand – 5 diamonds, 4 hearts, 3 clubs, and 1 spade. No aces. You look at your partner and he gives you that look with a slight nod. You’re confident you have a shot of winning. “All I got is one”, you announce.

Your partner looks at the two opponents, you, his hand again, and bellows out, “I got 5 [books] and a possible”!

Before you can blink, you lose 300-150. Why? Well, your partner severely miscounted his books and reneged on another. While he’s sitting there stunned because of his stupidity, you look at him like: “What…the….fcuk….did…you…just…do”?!

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Let’s face it – you’ve been there, I’ve been there. Spades can be as light-hearted a game as you killing time on your phone playing Tetris, or a damn near fight starter. There’s shyt talking, throwing cards down like they’re dominos, strategy, and the kick in the gonads moment of having your a$$ handed to you. So I’m going to run down the rules of survival when playing this mind fcuk of a game. First off…

Count your books

This is obviously important as you need to get enough books to win and can’t afford to get set (not making your books) and losing points. If you are a savant at playing spades then you should have very little issues. If you’re not, well practice…practice…practice.

Know what makes a book and what doesn’t

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Knowing what makes a book and what doesn’t is very key. Let’s look at the hierarchy of cards: Big Joker, Little joker, Deuce, Ace, King (spades), Queen (spades), Jack (spades), and any spade after them (1-10) Aces (hearts, diamonds, clubs) and it’s all a crap shoot from there. If you have low spades (3-9), those are the ‘cut’ cards if someone throws out an ace. They can be decoys to see what the others have.  Don’t depend on them to win books for you consistently though.

Have a piece of ‘humble pie’

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Talking trash is fun, and gets your competitive juices flowing. However, if you overdo it, you must have one of the following: A) A sweet hand and there’s virtually no chance of losing the game B) You’re 100% capable of defending yourself should you force the issue.

Sometimes the sweetest thing is to stay mute and let the cards do the talking for you. And when you win, just be cool. You don’t want to be that dude no one wants to play with because you talk too much yadda yadda. And I hope you’re not that moronic putz who puts the supposed winning card on his forehead and it gets beat. Trust me, I saw a brotha show off once by putting an Ace of diamonds on his forehead only to have it cut by a 4 of spades. To say his partner was miffed was an understatement. It was pure comedy to me.

And please don’t be that dude who slams cards on the table like you just won the lotto and gets his card trumped. Lastly, if you lose, be cool and leave the table. Don’t carry on like you’re a 7 year old who didn’t get everything they wanted on Christmas.

Know your partner

By playing with the same person consistently, you will become familiar with their tendencies. Does s/he count their books? Do they underbid (bid less then they have), or do they overbid?  If your partner does these things then you can compensate for them.

Does your partner start with their high card first to grab books immediately? Do they start low and let you get the books then come in later with their high cards? Can they cover you in case your high card (usually an Ace) gets cut by a spade? Or do they cut you a lot?

We’ll get to that later. And by later, I mean like now.

Cutting your partner

Watch the board (the table) and see who throws out what and try not to cut your partner. Let me stress that – DON’T DO IT. Now there can be instances you had no choice because you’re loaded with spades, but that should be the ONLY reason. By doing this, you went from potentially winning two books to just one. It makes you look like an amateur and it gets your partner irritated.

If s/he throws out a high card, avoid throwing out an even higher card for the sake of winning a book. For example: if you’re last in the rotation to play, and your opponents threw out a Queen and ten of hearts respectively, and your partner just sandwiched a King of hearts, don’t throw out the Ace of hearts. Yes, it’s a higher card, but your partner already won the book. The better option in this scenario would be to ‘throw off’ (throw a card of a different suit). Wait to use your Ace the next go around.

Look at your hand, see who plays what and plan your next move. Use your cards to your advantage. If you have Kings of any other suit, wait for the Aces to be played first then use your King. You may only have a 50-60% chance of winning the book but at least you knew the Aces were played already.

Don’t renege

Obviously those repercussions don’t happen (I hope), but you get the point. This an be filed under paying attention as well. Depending on whom you’re playing with and where, it can cost you anywhere from 1 to 4 books. Play the suit plain and simple.

Now sometimes you can pull a fast one if you catch your opponents napping and ‘steal’ a book, but you have to figure when to make your play. Don’t do it and then throw out the same suit the next hand. No bueno.

And if you’re going to call someone out on a renege of a book you better be 1,000% sure. Some people literally ask you to point out which book it was, and you have to know. If you don’t, then that’s a problem and you’re basically calling them a liar. It looks even worse when you are not familiar with the players involved.

Ask questions

Everyone has their own set of rules depending on where and whom you play spades with. It would be good practice to ask the following questions before sitting down for a hand. How many books are taken during a renege? Are there ‘sandbags’? Is there three book over-set, etc. It will behoove you to avoid going into a game assuming you know all the rules, and consequently make a ‘dumb’ play during the game. You may end up just like the dude in the aforementioned video…or not…maybe. All joking aside, it’s important to ask.

So readers there’s the map on navigating the path of spades. What say you amateurs or pros?  Any remissions? Do tell.

peace

–Cortonio

Cortonio 1 -OpinionatedMale.com

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Is your foreplay bad or bougie? Dating skills savage or clueless? – My thoughts on these, meeting bae’s parents, and long distance lovin’

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[Admin Note: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss KK. Take it away!]

Thank you sir. Well, let’s get to it shall we?

Is foreplay overrated?

Are you one of those people that skips the pre-workout stretch? Shoves your rump roast in the oven before its fully pre-heated? Like to put stuff together before reading the instructions? Then you might also be one of those folks that omits foreplay because you don’t see the use for it. OK, so that might be a leap, but at the very least people may vary by degrees in regards to foreplay. There are some of us ready to go without provocation like a prisoner fresh out the clink. Some need their fire stoked, and others still need kerosene and a box of matches to get their fire started. Personally, the idea of having digits or solid plastic or metal blunt objects shoved in me like I’m a Thanksgiving turkey getting stuffed (te he!) is the opposite of sexy. Nonetheless, I highly value foreplay. It shows you care about what pleases your mate and making them happy. If its your first time with a new lover, its a great way to gauge the follow up. If there’s a great deal of fumbling, pushing, and shoving then you don’t have to go further because (insert the most feasible excuse to leave immediately here). If its proper, then that stretching that we spoke about earlier will come in handy.

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There will be times when your passion foregoes the need for foreplay but a great deal of people appreciate it regularly. Some people want the full gambit you know: foot rub, back rub, role playing, etc. Others are satisfied with a long speech from a great orator or cunning linguist. Bottom line: if you’re doing it, you aren’t doing it well without foreplay. If you want a second go at the rodeo then your beats and eats better be tailored specifically to your special lady.

When is the best time to bring the boo to meet the parents?

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I like to think that I’m pretty good at discerning things: when a cake is done, when its going to rain, how “gifted” a new love interest may be. But when it comes to knowing the right moment to bring the new boo to meet the ‘rents I’m about as useful as an afro pick in Al Sharpton’s grooming kit. Here’s the thing – soon after a gentleman meets my parents, we’re caput. This is both good and bad. Bad because I no longer have someone to watch Netflix with. Good because parents oftentimes in their infinite wisdom know when the guy you’re dating isn’t right for you. All of those once cute quirks (not answering your call after 11pm, not knowing exactly where he works at, being asked to be a cosigner for a new BMW) are suddenly red flags. Your parents, if they love you, wont let you walk down that path, even if Netflix is at the end of it.

That being said, the quality of that person will dictate your readiness to introduce them to your family. If they aren’t a smash n’ dash, he knows your middle name, and you hang out during daylight hours then you’re headed in the right direction. If your love interest introduces you to their friends, family, and children first and you two have both invested a few months of serious exclusive dating, then they might be okay. I’ve heard there’s also just a feeling one gets when its “right”. Since its nothing like knowing when your cake is done, I cant speak on that with authority. All I know is you both better be in it for the long haul because once parents get involved, you’re either going to sail through life’s storms together or jump ship.

Long Distance Relationships

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Ahh…the long distance relationship – made popular by Westerns, romance novels, and jailbirds alike. While some of these things aren’t as relevant to today’s culture, it still has its place. There’s something both nostalgic and romantic about long distance relationships that seems to transcend our current shallow microwave society. It forces you to really hone your communication skills and come up with more creative ways to keep your significant other’s attention aside from / or in addition to texted pictures of certain body parts in different stages of arousal. It can also serve as a great barometer of how much you truly value that person and their presence in your life. It can cause you to come face to face with tough adult decisions. Do you stay separated or do you move? Do you make changes in your life to allow them to move closer to you? Do you both both go somewhere neither of you have ever been to to build a new life together? Do you give up? See? Much more serious than deciding which bar you’re going to frequent tonight.

LongDistanceRelationships-OpinionatedMale.com

In a serious relationship where distance becomes a factor after you’re settled in the groove of things, then establish a time frame for the distance to shorten. To avoid placing undue strain on your relationship, six months to a year tops sounds reasonable to figure that out. If you meet someone and distance is in the mix from the start, determine what you want from the person and set the same parameters based on your decision. No matter how romantic or nostalgic a long distance relationship may start off, all good things must come to an end eventually. Whether that’s a happy ending depends on your tolerance and ability to go the distance.

Online Dating

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There’s a reason why people pay money to have an online dating account. You can choose a possible mate simply by looking at a profile picture, use a single finger to find out his likes and dislikes, favorite team and color, what his religious belief is, how many kids he has and how many times he’s been married all without putting on a stitch of clothing, make up or pretentiousness. WINNING! You can censor and limit your interactions with one or several people until you’re ready to meet them. The awkward uncertainty of figuring out if the person you’re dating is really into you is somewhat eased because after all, you cyber stalk each other before you even have a phone conversation let alone meeting in person.Now for the cons. In addition to creating an unnecessary expense, online dating further cripples social skills and redefines how humans interact with each other in a very sterile and negative way. You don’t get impressed by his aura or intrigued by her laughter as these are things only experienced in person. Which brings me to my next point. Until you meet in person, you don’t really know with whom you’re talking to. Remember when his profile read 2 kids? That was a typo; he meant 12. And she really is voluptuous, from the neck up. From the neck down, she’s just ….plain. I think I’ve made my point.

Seriously though, if he looks like Idris Elba, has his masters, loves to travel and is a 5 time regional rubik’s cube champion, why is he paying $39.95 to meet people online???

So…

Have any of you actually delved into the world of online love? Made the long trek to see a boo thang? Had a ‘Gaylord Focker’ moment? Into foreplay or nah? Drop me a line.

– Miss. KK

Miss. KK considers herself a true southerner at heart with an undying love for all things glazed and covered in gravy. When she’s not harassing her baby boy with hugs and kisses, she enjoys napping, Rubik’s cubes and Agatha Christie novels.

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Be Ye Not Unequally Yoked: 5 things that can make, break, or hinder relationship growth‏

African American Couple showing affection - OpinionatedMale.com

If you grew up in a Southern home chances are you’ve heard the title phrase several times in your life. While the Scripture speaks specifically of marriage, its message is relevant and can be applied to various types of relationships, regardless of your religious leanings.

Just to clarify, to be “unequally yoked” simply means that there are differences that exist between two mates that could shorten the lifespan of a relationship. Still unclear? Lucky you because I have compiled my top 5 list of ways you could be unequally yoked and how it could damage your romantic relationship.

5. Political party

So you voted for Hillary and he chose the other guy. No big deal. Until some time later you discover that the “other guy” is the forerunner of some obscure Marxist-esque communist neo Nazi like party. Yes, this is an extreme example but when you first meet someone something like this can seem minor when compared to their beautiful smile and killer sense of humor.

There are thousands of couples that identify with different sides of the aisle and get along smashingly. But if your conversations start to seem more like rounds of a high school debate competition, you might want to start working on a Dear John letter.

4. Relationship Goals

Are you looking for someone to get you through Cuffing Season or someone to take home to meet the folks? In this day and age people are seen as clingy or moving too fast if they have this conversation too early in the relationship, but these are valid questions people. Far too often people take the stance of “Let’s see where this goes”. When you’re in your 20s this attitude isn’t so bad, but as time marches on you should yearn for something more meaningful,  or at least for some clear boundaries. Gone are the days where the ultimate goal of an intimate relationship was obviously marriage, so be upfront and honest with yourself and your potential partner.

If you’re engagement ring shopping and she’s still got an active account on cutieswitbooties.com, y’all aren’t on the same page. Spare yourself some dignity, heartache, and time by having a mature conversation about your emotional needs and expectations from the beginning.

3. Personal goals

You want to be your own boss by 40. He wants to drop an unbroken perfectly coiled deuce (true story). He wants to take some enrichment courses at the local university. She wants to have a million friends across all her social media platforms. While these differences may not keep two people apart, they very well could be the source of issues down the line.

We’re all individuals, but if you can’t relate to your significant others goals and motivation behind them, it can be difficult to truly connect with them on a deeper level. Failing to do this can breed contention and even jealousy when your accomplishments and success surpass their own.

2. Individual interests

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You overcame #4 and met someone that does want to get married but they don’t want children. Is this a deal breaker? You love to travel but your boo doesn’t want to scrape up that $135 for a passport. Can you imagine yourself on the trip of a lifetime without your ‘bae’ next to you? In a healthy relationship you should feel encouraged and supported in your individual endeavors, but like minded enough to enjoy each others differences as well.

Much like #3, you have to be able to understand your Love Muffin in their various pursuits. Otherwise you could be creating a hostile environment for your relationship and worse yet, deferring the dreams of your loved one or your own.

1. Faith/Belief

Now, let’s be really honest. Could you build a future with someone who doesn’t believe the same thing(s) that you do? I’m not talking about trivial things like whether or not Tupac is alive (he is ) or if OJ really did it (he didn’t ). We’re talking about about the stuff that fundamentally shapes who you are and how you relate to and view the world around you. After all, the Good Book addressed this issue in particular roughly 2000 years ago and immortalized it in print. If you meet someone that really stirs yo’ grits, are all bets off if they believe in Buddha instead of Allah? Would you be willing to give up bacon (and sausage, ham, ribs, fat back, chittlins, chicharrones and pickled pig’s feet, etc) or football Sunday to draw nearer to your loved one? If you aren’t, then you need to slow your roll. It’s not going to get better or easier as time goes by.

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Sure, people meet and their love for each other makes them convert or overcome any and all obstacles such as ideological differences. Personally, that’s not one of the 99 problems I want to have. Your belief in the afterlife or evolution shapes your responses to various things in this life. Believing that nothing happens regardless of your behavior or that 25 Hail Mary’s sets you straight can significantly influence your moral compass. When you consider your mate’s family and friends, this issue can get exponentially more difficult when you throw in holidays and other social events.

If you’re open and flexible, then go for it. If not, forego unnecessary tension and stress and choose someone whose faith is in the same thing as you. Is this going to eliminate the typical growing pains in a new relationship? Not likely, as everyone has varying degrees of faith and commitment to what they believe. Nonetheless, a person’s beliefs dictates a great portion of their ideals and morals. It teaches a man how he should treat a woman and teaches a woman how she should carry herself…if they genuinely care that is.

When two folks set out on a journey, they may have different ideas about how to get there, but the destination in mind should be the same. Consider this list your GPS.

– Miss. KK

Miss. KK considers herself a true southerner at heart with an undying love for all things glazed and covered in gravy. When she’s not harassing her baby boy with hugs and kisses, she enjoys napping, Rubik’s cubes and Agatha Christie novels.

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So she said “No” – Is all hope lost? When marriage proposals go wrong

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Allow me to set the scene: Music is playing. Several people are even shaking their tail feathers. Drinks are flowing, food is in abundance, and everyone is mingling with each other. The men are in the next room getting their card game on. Mike – while partaking in the events of the party – is feeling nervous. He has been dating Shana for two years and he wants to pop the question.

Midway through the party he seizes the opportunity and asks the DJ to stop the music. He requests everyone’s attention and then brings Shana to the middle of the spacious room. Mike, once on edge, now becomes relaxed. He holds her close by the hands and looks into her eyes as he professes his love for her. Soon thereafter, gets down on one knee to the “oooh’s and awww’s” of the women in the room, accompanied by the approving smiles of the men. “Will you give me the honor of being my wife?”, he asks. Shana looks at him for a few seconds with a somewhat stoic expression. She purses her lips together and the excitement in the room is at a fever pitch as everyone eagerly and optimistically anticipates her reply. However, much to everyone’s surprise and dismay as her voice cracks she utters, “Mike I love you, but I’m sorry. I can’t. No”. 

To say the air was sucked out of the room is an understatement. Mike at this point is feeling dejected, confused, and somewhat embarrassed at the turn of the events. He gets up slowly and walks away retreating into another room. Shana, on the other hand, is like an athlete at a press conference answering a bevy of questions from her closest friends and family as to why.

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Having a significant other rejecting your marriage proposal is a definite punch in the gonads, and you’re left with a cocktail of mixed emotions. But isn’t that what women want – a marriage with everything else falling into place?

So I ask you ladies and gentlemen – what is Mike to do? What would anyone do? It’s not as simple as typical break up. And it’s not as though they were already engaged and it was subsequently called off. Does or should Mike end things altogether?  Has Shana already made that decision with her rejection?

If the person you are proposing to says “No”, it creates a tough situation since it places your relationship in a quandary. Do you go back to being girlfriend and boyfriend? Hmnn…You can’t go backwards, or can you? If she wasn’t ready to take that step, do you stick around and make another attempt when you think she’s ready? And if so, when is that? Does she have to pass you a note telling you? So many questions. So…many…questions.

Maybe you can help with the answers and opinions.

Thoughts??

Peace

—Cortonio

Cortonio 1 -OpinionatedMale.com

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Good Grief, Woe Is You: The Foolish Things That Women Do

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After having written a similar list for the men, I would be remiss if I didn’t do the same for the softer sex. Let’s get right to it.

Having children too young

‘Young’ can be open to interpretation and be quite a broad adjective. Allow me to be more specific in terms of what ‘young’ is meant here. And I won’t define it as ‘not being ready’ because you could be 32  years old making a very desirable salary, be totally financially independent and still not ready to have a child. If this were to occur you under these circumstances as described above, at least you would have the financial means to manage (especially in the father is unfit). For today however, I am aiming at those who are 21 and under.

While there have been many sisters who have recovered from unintended pregnancies and have gone on to be successful adults and parents, there have been others who have failed miserably. Here are a few disadvantages to engaging in this irresponsible behavior.

1) You are still young and likely desire to live the lifestyle the average early 20-something does. How could you if you have a newborn/infant to take care of? Who are your babysitting options: Mom? Nanna? Aunty?

2) You haven’t matured enough to seriously understand values, norms, and responsible behavior. What do I mean you ask? How can you effectively teach that to a child who has practically grown up alongside you?

3) Many fall into the trap of the ‘system’ and don’t (some by choice) get out. I’ll get more into this later.

Not using protection during intercourse

If you want to get ya freak on, fine. No shade or hate thrown here. I know the above sub heading can count for both sexes, but women face the brunt of this more than men do.  Here’s the deal – What if  you get pregnant with a casual sex partner? You can put him on all the child support you want and still get burned. You’ll still have the deal with either the shame (depending on your beliefs) of having a child out of wedlock, facing your family, having an abortion, or the real risk of being the sole provider for the child.  And in my opinion, a worst case scenario is a visit to the doctors office and potentially being diagnosed with an (could be incurable) STD. I don’t want to sound like a 1990s commercial and say “wrap it up”, but I’d be remiss if I don’t stress that or at least birth control. Dudes have little d*ck control so they’ll ‘shoot up the club’ if so be it, or their pull out game isn’t nearly on point as they think (or you hope) it is. So don’t even do it to yourself.

Hoping children can save a marriage/relationship

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If he it isn’t in it [the relationship] and into you, then there’s nothing having children can do. It won’t make him more responsible, more mature, or love you any stronger. And worse, all it will do is cause nothing but more stress, strain, and resentment on the relationship.

Ditching your friends in favor of your new beau

Boyfriends and girlfriends come and go. Your friends (should) last a lifetime.What happens if he ventures to greener pastures, who do you have to vent to? Who’s shoulder will you cry on? Exactly.

Looking for love in the wrong places and settling for disrespect from men

Although this was a classic movie with some positive messages in it but I digress (fast forward to 1:16)

Queens – yes I’ll call you queens – I don’t care how much money he makes, how good his pipe game is,  or what kind of car he drives. You should not….SHOULD NOT tolerate disrespect of any form: verbal, physical, or in some cases sexual just to keep a man around. I’ve seen it one too many times and all I can do is shake my head.

And if you’re a hopeless romantic you shouldn’t have to deal with just any man in fear of being alone. Women tend to get into that quandary because of this fear. Stay the course but still enjoy life and you’ll find the right one. It’s better to be alone and happy than to be to be with someone and feel lonely.

Not being industrious and staying on the system

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Image courtesy of tammymv.wordpress.com

I don’t have an issue if you happen to have a child at a young age with an a-hole of a dude who bails. I understand you may need some assistance whether it be housing, WIC, or food stamps especially if your family isn’t really supportive.  If you start conceiving multiple children after that without getting yourself in order as a means to stay on said assistance, that’s where the issue lies.

Allow me to break it down: If you have a child at 18, then by the time you’re 30 you have 2, maybe 3 more children and you’re still collecting benefits, what kind of example does that set for your children? “Mommy doesn’t have to work but we still have flatscreen TV’s, nice furniture, and a filled refrigerator.” And I have to emphasize especially if you have a girl(s) – what precedent does that set for them? “If mommy can do it so can I”.

If you’re not physically handicapped or have a child that is, go and get a job. I know women who have special needs children that require extra care, and send them to specialized programs during the day so they can….OMG!! ….work! I don’t care if you’re a cashier at a CVS making minimum wage, or have to work two jobs. You have to do what you must, so get up off yo’ azz!

I’m out….

Peace

–Cortonio

Cortonio 1 -OpinionatedMale.com

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Dear Foolish Men, Here’s How Many of You Ruin Your Lives in Two Minutes or Less

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I’m going to rewind to the age of 7. I was young, impressionable, had a ravenous appetite for reading, and I was in carefree mode (as all young kids are). I was watching a show called Zoobilee Zoo – go on Youtube to check it out (if you’re over 30 you should know the show). Anyhow, one of the characters made a mistake that cost him a friendship (for the duration of the show). The obligatory sing-a-long came at the end about making mistakes. The chorus was: “It’s a fact of life that you have to face, People maaaaakeeee mistakes” .

There’s nothing wrong with making a mistake. Plain and simple we all tend to screw up. Some learn from it, some don’t. We all make minute honest mistakes and in some cases grave potentially life altering ones. Bottom line, there are some brain fart things men do like…

Fathering multiple children out of wedlock

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Mr. SoBo and I wrote a piece on having children out of wedlock. And I, for the most part, defended it. My stance has since changed a bit. I still feel a child born out of wedlock shouldn’t be treated or regarded like yesterday’s trash or the skid mark in the underpants of society. However, I’ve seen the effects and the turmoil that it has caused and it isn’t pretty. Too many of us get lulled into that trap and think we can come out unscathed. You are definitely going to take your lumps no matter how cool and understanding the ‘baby mama’ is.

While co-parenting should be the norm, in many cases it isn’t. Understandably, there are cases when an ‘oops’ can occur—like ONE. Nevertheless, when you start having MULTIPLE children by MULTIPLE women, then therein lies a big problem.

Not staying in your financial lane

Spending money you don’t have is a big no-no. Ever hear of the old saying, “Don’t buy champagne on a beer budget”? ‘Nuff said.

Why own a vehicle in which your payments are almost 1/2 of what your rent is? Why go to a club, buy a table with bottles for ONE night, but still have bills pending and you have no dough until the NEXT paycheck?

No romance without finance

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I was watching a clip someone shared on Facebook  and it featured a young brother  talking about dating while being broke. “Ni**az be over there slinging that poverty di*k”! I had a hearty laugh upon hearing that.  I asked myself, “Why are brothers out there dealing with women on different levels and their dough isn’t in order”?

I did a piece on how men manage to survive, but thrive on getting by. But the reality is, it doesn’t work too long. If you’re in a relationship and funded your share (if not more) of the outings, and you you get in a temporary financial tailspin, it’s normal. But what if you NEVER have any money and she’s flipping everything? Plain and simple, when dealing with the opposite sex your money HAS to be in order. There’s little wrong with the occasional cheap but creative date, but that should be a rarity. Jennifer Lopez once made a song “Love don’t cost a thing” Uhhhh…Ms. Lopez, pardon me, but YES it does.

Thinking with the wrong head

We’ve all done it before – substituting rationale and reason for a bout of passionate lovemaking or a ground and pound quickie <—(or not). We’re men. When those animalistic vibes start kicking in, then those things happen.

Thinking with the wrong head can be cheating in a relationship or having sex with someone you wish you hadn’t. Once you let those unclaimed kids fly out of your rocket you’re asking yourself, “What did I just do? Why did I do that?”

Thinking with the wrong head can lead to some dire consequences. You can even find yourself with a psychotic woman on your hands, or just lose yourself as a man. Let me share a quick story:  A close personal friend of mine was involved in such a dilemma and it didn’t work out too well for him. Have no fear, he’s alive and healthy, but he went through it lemme tell ya.

Getting married

Happy Newlyweds in Front of Mansion - OpinionatedMale.com

Happy Newlyweds in Front of Mansion — Image by © Greg Hinsdale/Corbis

Allow me to preface this by saying marriage between people who truly love each other unequivocally is something of pure beauty. I know of couples who have been married longer than I have been around and all I can say is damn obligation. Some examples of this could be that:

  • She has money/good credit
  • Her folks have money and even ‘rewarded’ you
  • She’s pregnant
  • Your dude’s have already jumped the broom so you feel it’s time to do the same

However, marrying for these reasons is always detrimental especially once children come into the picture. When you eventually become unhappy, it will be harder to leave than if you kept her as just your lady friend. And because of your hasty decision to get hitched, you can be left broken mentally, emotionally, and financially.

Why even put yourself through that?

Practicing infidelity during a marriage (or relationship), getting caught up, being forgiven and doing…it…again!?

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Maaaannnnn…listen…I’m not even going into that.  The sub heading speaks for itself.

So having said all that, what are some other major blunders fellas get themselves into? What are your thoughts on my thoughts?

Peace and blessings

–Cortonio

Cortonio 1 -OpinionatedMale.com

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