” I now pronounce you man and wife”
“Will you marry me?”
“What do you say we take this further”
Nice words to hear aren’t they. Now during the course of our relationships we all go through a lot and do copious amounts of thinking. Can we improve this? Should we fix that? Did we spend too much on this? I wonder what he would think if I did that? Would she like this for her birthday? You can go all day.
However, during the course of your deep reveling in thought have you thought about what you wouldn’t want in your relationship? Seriously, and if you’re a movie buff like myself (although I don’t do much TV, weird isn’t it?), combine them together and you’ll get this – Movie titles you wouldn’t want synonymous with your relationship. Let’s start with….
1. Home Alone
During the course of a relationship sometimes we’re not opposed to having some time to ourselves. However, would you want to be in a position where you’re constantly by yourself while he/she gives their time to everyone and everything else?
Imagine this: you have a man and you go days without seeing him; whether it’s your busy work week, he has two jobs, one of you are working and in school, or whatever the case may be. The weekend comes and you can’t wait to see him. You’re filled with excitement. You’re probably dressed anticipating a nice evening out and suddenly this happens: “Hey boo. Yeah, uh, the fellas made plans we’re all going out tonight, and tomorrow I have a lot of errands to run. Sorry, er maybe next weekend”?
Put yourself in the situation as a man: “Hi… I’m tired tonight hun, and it’s Tamika’s birthday tomorrow and we’re all spending the whole day (and evening) with her. I’m free on Tuesday; we can hang out then”. So with that being said, you are left to spend yet another night by yourself. What’s worse is if you broke plans with others because you had plans with your honey.
Oh yeah and no va jay jay/johnson for you tonight or tomorrow either.
I or anyone shouldn’t judge what people do for their profession. If it pays the bills and you have some change left over for your leisure than do what works for you. If you’re in a situation with someone and they continue to be shiftless with no ambition, what then? How long do you tolerate it? You come home from a long day’s work and he is sitting in front of his X-box because he’s already been home pretty much all day since he worked his customary part-time shift. Sad thing is there’s unlimited, unlocked potential but he doesn’t want to do anything to harness it.
How about this scenario: The bills come and you as the man are paying them all one by one with no financial support from girl. The reason being she’s a ‘career student’ with no reason to work because, well,…hell, aren’t you? She maintains she requires the necessary pampering with your dollar. And for some of you men out there, as long as you’re getting a lot of of cutty, that will suffice.
3. Two Can Play That Game
No tit for tat here. No matter how much you’d want to get even, sometimes it’s just not worth it. Seriously, playing a game of one-upmanship with your mate for retaliation is detrimental on all levels.
4. Money Talks
We all know the old cliche’, “Love can’t pay bills.” And while this is true, you under no circumstances don’t want your relationship to turn into one big dollar sign. For instance, if he didn’t buy that several hundred (or even thousand) dollar piece of jewelry you wanted, is there a reason to be mad? If she didn’t get those J’s you wanted or said top of the line outfit…Really? Serious?
If you start penny-pinching and nit-picking over every dollar either of you have spent in your relationship, no good. Money can be a detriment to friendships, partnerships, relationships, and marriages. Dollars shouldn’t be a conversation unless you guys are sorting out bills to be paid, or if you guys are saving up for a major expense. Period.
In the end when you start measuring who makes more, or pays more (unless you constantly foot the lion’s share of the expenses) then things can turn ugly in a hurry and that’s not healthy for a relationship.
5. Cop Out
Excuses, excuses, excuses. How would you like to be with a man who never bites the bullet? Puts up walls? You know, he never takes accountability for anything. He’s just looking for that back or side door to get out of whenever something arises. Nice huh?
6. Just Friends
Now back to another the old cliche’ he/she’s my lover, confidante, mate, best friend…okay I can dig it. However what happens if you end up being seen as just a friend, although you still want more? “Can we be just friends?” That’s something you don’t want to hear unless it’s agreed upon by both parties.
7. The Break Up
The title speaks for itself
8. Why Did I Get Married?
Marriage, it can be bliss…or not. It can be a gift and a curse. Well it’s true that over half of marriages end in divorce. People do it because of an unplanned/unexpected pregnancy; some do it because they feel compelled; others for the money, but there are those who actually get married out of pure love and the want to be with the person ’til death to them part’. No matter how rough things get you have to find the resolve to fix it. Relationships or marriages are never easy. However if you get to the point where you have to ask yourself this question, then there’s a huge problem.
9. Think Like A Man
Now, while it was an interesting and entertaining movie, that’s where I’ll stop. I didn’t care for the premise behind the movie at all. Giving women the ability to be empowered and somewhat entitled in a relationship because they couldn’t get what they wanted never sat well with me. The 90 day rule, the plethora of questions about goals and values on a first date, etc. is ‘meh’ if you ask me.
If you want to think like a man in regards to what he would like, no problem. When it comes to planning something for him and you’re thinking: What would a man like (especially if you all haven’t been dating for a long time or don’t live together …yet), then cool. It could be planning a Sunday for him and his friends to watch hours of football while stuffing their faces and bladder with food and brew. It could be planning something for his birthday involving his buddies, or even buying him something you know the average man would enjoy.
However, if you want to go the Steve Harvey route and play games within the relationship, or trying to think like him for retribution, that’s where things go awry. If you find yourself simply reading the damn book and trying to make a strategy for dealing with him, No BUENO. Simple communication, understanding, and trust is all you need to have a successful relationship. Trying to out think him, or think LIKE him works a lot less than one may think.
10. Waiting To Exhale
Wow, things have gotten that bad huh?
What movie titles can you think of? Do you have any experiences or knew of anyone who experienced the aforementioned titles in their relationships? What other titles could you come up with? Do tell. The floor is all yours.