Doin’ the Most (Pt 3) – You Know You’re Lame as hell When You…

A few months ago, I wrote “Doin’ The Most: 11 Examples of Lame Sh*t People Do” and not long after that I wrote “8 Very Lame and Tacky Things People Do (Pt 2)”. I didn’t think I’d do a part 3 for fear of being redundant, but some of the things I’ve seen recently lets me know I have to do a 3rd installment.

This time I won’t to the “lame-o-meter”. I’ll leave that up to you the readers. So without any further ado…

1. TREAT FAMILY/CLOSE FRIENDS AS FB SATUS UPDATES

Okay let me explain. Let’s say your birthday comes along, right – and instead of your relative or friend calling you or shooting you a text to say happy birthday, they do it on Facebook. Matter of fact, I’ll do one better: If they live in close proximity to you, instead of coming to check you or maybe celebrate with you, they say Happy Birthday on Facebook and leave it at that.

I’m sorry that is sooooo lame. I understand that social media has climbed the hierarchy of our existence as you have/had Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, Instagram, and Tout, so people have found it ‘easier’ to communicate to each other. And quite frankly, people have gotten too lazy and dependent on it. Why would you wish someone a Happy Birthday on Facebook when you can simply call, text, or actually even celebrate it?

Even worse, I’ve seen people NOT even write out the entire phrase.  They put ‘HBD’. What does that stand for? Hyper Bowel Deficiency?  Home Brew Digest?  Hot Bus Driver?  If so be the case don’t even bother. I’d rather you not write anything at all. If you’re inviting someone to an event, call or text. Heck even drive to their house and do it personally.  Don’t do it on Facebook.

2. OVER EXPRESS SPORTS FANDOM

July 8, 2010: Lebron James NBA superstar, Ohio’s favorite son, and money-making conglomerate all by himself decides to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat. It’s not like he didn’t meet with Micky Arson and Pat Riley and sign the contract. He made a big to-do in which he actually did a one hour-long broadcast sitting one on one with Jim Gray at a Boys and Girls club to announce he’s leaving to go to the Miami Heat as a free agent. “I’m taking my talents to South Beach”. So here’s the problem, I as a sports fan didn’t really care that he did, although how he handled it was pretty immature. My issue was how the fans in Cleveland reacted. Take a look

Not only did they have shirts made (YES MADE), that begged Lebron to stay in Cleveland, they also sang a state-wide song to him to stay. When he decided to defect to Miami, this is how they reacted. Burning shirts and jerseys? Really? Some fans did the same thing to Oklahoma City Thunder Star Kevin Durant twice. The first time came after they lost game 4 of the NBA finals to Miami last year, and did it again after they lost to the Memphis Grizzlies last month.

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention the riots that occurred over the years after home teams lost AND won their sports championship. The worst of which came in 2004 when the Boston Red Sox beat the New York Yankees to advance to the World Series and then beat the St. Louis Cardinals to win the World Series. There were cars over turned, fires set, and some fatalities to add to the fiasco.

I understand we all get personal when it comes to sports, emotions run high and we get carried away – but in the end it’s a sport. It’s entertainment, nothing more nothing less. Carrying on to the point where someone gets arrested, hurt, or even killed is a damn shame, and LAAAAAAMME.

3. DRIVE THROUGH A NEIGHBORHOOD BLARING MUSIC, ESPECIALLY SUNDAY

It’s seven o’clock on a bright morning, birds chirping, nice cool breeze blowing. You step outside to either go to work or maybe sit on your porch and all of a sudden you hear the sound of bass and lyrics from someone’s car fast approaching. It’s cheef Keef’s “Hate being sober”. Well, that particular song was played in my experience, but it could be any artist.

Why? Why? and Why? It’s early in the morning. Nobody has the time or energy to sit there while you’re blasting music with explicit lyrics at that. Was it too hard to keep the volume down? Or better yet was it too hard to keep the window up if you want to blast your music that bad? We get it, you have an ‘X’ watt stereo, with 10-12 inch speakers and an amp in your vehicle. If you want to be seen, next time drive by with your windows down screaming, “Hey look at me….I want attention” that would be better.

4. STALK YOUR EX

I can’t even begin to explain how lame that is. Ladies and Gents, I’m sure you’ve been there.  Your man/woman breaks it off with you and you wallow in self-pity. You try everything to get over them: You drink excessively; cry; go partying with your friends in search of someone at the very least to sleep with that night. You call up old flames to see what their doing, whatever. One thing you don’t do is become a stalker.

Imagine driving to her house and parking a little ways down the street like your on some damn stake out mission. Creepy.  You call him/her to see if they’re home and then hang up. No bueno. Hey the relationship is done, get over it.

I know it’s hard but getting arrested  for stalking or caught doing so would be worse, not to mention embarrassing. If you have to go on a ‘hulk smash’ mission (gents) to get over her then do so. Anything but stalking. Ladies I say the same thing too. You are a woman, so you can get virtually any guy you want, especially if you’re an attractive one with intangibles to offer (like some sense).

5. EXCESSIVE BABY SHOWERS

Expecting the birth of a child is a blessing indeed. The pregnancy itself can be nerve-wracking and awesome at the same time. Your body goes through changes mentally and physically. Your appetite and cravings go haywire.

As the birth comes close, people celebrate by having a Baby Shower. Women can make out like a fat rat or just get the essentials (both aren’t bad to say the least). You’re getting stuff for free right? Okay so let’s carry on.

When you have a child and someone throws you a baby shower, thats fine. And if another child of the opposite sex comes along, I would assume another shower is in order. What happens when you have 3+ children of the same sex though? Do you keep having shower after shower? Ladies, I’d like you to comment on this and help me understand. If you have 3 children of the same-sex, whatever happened to hand me downs? Am I wrong?  To me having excessive showers is lame. I mean what or who are we really celebrating here.

Okay so you have my spiel on lame things people do. Also, if you can help me understand the significance of multiple showers, please do that too. Feel free to add to the list. The floor is yours.

Peace

Updated 01/15/19, Originally entitled, “Such a Shame. Thought you Were fly, but You’re so Lame”