Girl Code: 10 Rules Women Should Generally Follow
As men sometimes we get into situations with our women because of several reasons. Maybe we misunderstood what they said. Maybe we don’t understand women as much as we think we should. Sometimes we under appreciate things. I mean sometimes we just plain fcuk up.
But sometimes at the end of the day maybe some women just don’t know how to act. Well I’m going to give you a little tidbit on the “woman code” per se’ and ladies if you find yourself doing these things, maybe you should look into the mirror and blame yourself. So here goes and let’s see if you have been guilty of these transgressions.
10. Nothing wrong with balance in a relationship but be the WOMAN. If you expect men to be the provider, protector and play ‘Bob DaBuilder’ then you should most definitely meet him half way. Make sure the house is kept, food is on the table, and things are in order
This is about as plain as day. I mean think about it, most women have certain standards or expectations of a man, right? Well what about men’s expectations? If you want us to fix things- and I don’t mean screwing in a light bulb- but build a cabinet, install a dishwasher, put together that room you always wanted, or even things like shoveling the snow, you should at least make sure the house is clean.
If there is a noise downstairs, and I could be wrong, but most women aren’t going down there alone (and some wouldn’t even follow). If you do assume or expect the man to go down (which he should) then you should hold down your end of the deal.
Now in no way am I being chauvinistic or demeaning towards women, because there are women out there doing the damn thing on their own. With that being said however, you don’t want your man to feel like he has to do virtually everything, i.e bring home the dough and as long as you’re giving him the cutty it’s all good. I got three words “No It Aint”! I know this is a fictitious character, but some women like to be on that Peg Bundy status and that doesn’t cut it.
9. IF YOUR HAIR ISN’T LONG ENOUGH, DON’T FORCE A PONY TAIL. NOT A GOOD LOOK.
Yes ladies, it’s true it’s true. I recently did an article “Top 8 Signs Your Hair Needs To Be Done” and if your hair is short, leave it the way it is. Don’t pull back every strand of hair you have just to get that elusive pony tail. You’re sitting there having veins protrude out your head just because of it. You know men love au’ naturale’. If it’s short let it grow on its own. You don’t want to have a Lebron James hairline do you?
8. HAVING STREETS SMARTS IS ALWAYS A PLUS, BUT BE A LADY, NOT A HOODRAT
I also covered this in a previous article. Again it’s all about balance. It goes without saying that’s the only way you’ll get around in society and life in general. Know when to be what when you need to be. And I’m not even going into “lady in the streets freak in the sheets” nonsense. That’s so passe’ and clichéd. I’m serious, you don’t need to walk around and constantly act like you have no home training.
7. BY THE AGE OF 30 YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR OWN PLACE,A JOB AND A DRIVERS LICENSE
Before I go any further, I understand unforeseen things happen, and sometimes life just doesn’t work out the way it’s supposed to. However, once your age starts with the number “3” you’re not just grown, you’re a grown a$$ woman. You are not 22 anymore. Get it together and get your life in order. I mean simple things like a driver’s license should be in your possession. No, not a state ID but an actual license. Not to mention the fact it comes in handy.
You should have a career or at the least have a fortifying job in which you’re making enough to pay bills, put some away, and still have pocket change for yourself. Having your own place depends on a lot of circumstances. However, it would be nice to be able to do things like entertain friends at your place without worrying about making your folks uncomfortable (too much noise etc,) or being embarrassed in any way.
6. NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A SOCIAL DRINKER BUT BEING A LUSH IS NO BUENO
5. BE CONFIDENT WITH YOURS, DON’T STUDY WHAT ANOTHER WOMAN HAS
As a woman you must always be confident and secure with your possessions: your man and yourself as a whole. Be happy and comfortable with your life and not the next woman’s. We don’t need to be keeping up with the Jones’s, Kardashians, no one.
You don’t know another woman’s situation as to why she may have what she does. Appreciate your things and your life and you’ll be a better person because of it. Let’s not worry about her house, her outfits, her bank accounts, nothing.
4. WEAR YOUR RIGHT SIZE PLEASE AND THANK YOU (ESPECIALLY BIG GIRLS)
Size 16 trying to squeeze into a size 10. Shoes that are too big you can see space in the back of them (like high heel pumps). I don’t think I should go into anymore.
3. AS MEN WE ALL LIKE NICE ROUND BOTTOMS, BUT EXPOSED BUTT CRACKS AREN’T SEXY
For some reason or another women of today like or should I say love, wearing low waist jeans which I guess is okay depending on the shape of the woman. However, I don’t like seeing butt cracks on a women. I don’t know why, it’s just not a good look to me. And I’m sure I can speak for a lot of men when I say that, especially if you are a little hairy.
2. DANCING OR GRINDING ON ANOTHER WOMAN AT THE CLUB ISN’T ATTRACTIVE OR COOL
We’re adults having grown folks fun, not 18 year olds on spring break in Cancun or somewhere. If you’re at a club/lounge you’ve had a long week and you just want to let loose and unwind and you’re dancing with your home girls, cool. You don’t feel like being harassed by thirsty guys who just want a cheap or quick feel, or maybe a quick boner who knows.
You’ve indulged in a few “soda pops” and you’re feeling good. Tunes are blaring and you’re in a zone, I totally get it. When you start grinding on one of the females in your group, that’s not even remotely attractive. Sorry it just isn’t.
1. YOUR MAN’S HOMIES ARE JUST THAT – HIS
You don’t need to be up in your man’s company’s face. If you happen to come around and you greet him/them and exchange a few pleasantries, nothing wrong with that. But let the boys be boys. You don’t need to be hanging with them like they’re your friends.
If it’s during a time when they’re watching the game or the fight, let them be. I’m sure you wouldn’t want your guy to be all around your ladies right? Besides you’ll possibly set yourself up for something to go wrong or something wrong to be said, and you don’t want to leave him in an awkward predicament.
– You should be married by 30, if not, being a sidepiece is a nice consolation prize. As a 30 year old, you could not reasonably expect that any man should put a ring on it.
– You should only mate with men who are willing & able to take care of the children you two produce. If you don’t, your children will suffer and your son will resent you later on down the line.
– You should consult the men you find attractive on how to be an attractive, quality woman, then be that woman.
– Unless, if you are willing to share your long & storied sexual history with your husband, then you should be very wary of your body count.
Exception: unless you are an excellent liar or you are attracted to naive men.
– Learn to appreciate male s*xual interest. Especially if you are average in looks. Once you lose your looks, ain’t to gettin’ it back.
All in all, take total responsibility for what goes right & wrong in your life.
good points all around but I have question though: but how would you…as in you yourself would know whether or not he will be able to take care of your (both of you) children? Are there any particular red flags to look for to suggest that he wouldn’t be? Once you become serious and you conceive a child…what then? And how would a man who’s attractive know how to tell a woman how to be?
Chicago got that work
Today is #ComplimentYourFollowers, by @JubiTheGreat, so thanks for giving me a place to spew my Chicken Stew.
-plenty of men and women get married after 30, being over 30 does not equate to sidepiece status. times of people getting married right out of high school/college have changed. it would behoove you to change your mindset with it
-just because they can take care of their own, doesnt mean they will. how many times have married couples divorced and the parent disappears on their own accord. being single and having kids is not vastly different.
-that “man” could only tell me how to be attractive to him and since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess your argument is non-valid
-why does the sexual history need to be shared? unless you have an incurable STD, let the past be the past. bringing that into new relationships only serves to cause issue. youre dating the person they are now, not who they were or who they slept with.
-what does his sexual interest have to do with my looks? am I suppose to be concerned that when Im 10 years older he will leave me if I wont engage in 3somes or whatever else his mind conjures up? Then so be it. When a REAL MAN loves a REAL WOMAN all that petty stuff (aging/hairloss/wrinkles whatever) doesnt matter as much as it did when he was a BOY and she was a GIRL. They will still have that attraction for each other AND open-mindedness because thats how REAL relationships work. He will not judge her for being 10 years older because he is too and she will be open to satisfy because he means that much to her; they have grown as a couple and know what truly matters.
As for the article itself, seen it before just titled differently if Im not mistaken. Just like men are tired of hearing what they are doing wrong, so are women. It would be nice if BOTH genders took the time to highlight what is being done correctly, but I guess controversy/drama/negativity and such are more appealing to the masses these days.
“plenty of men and women get married after 30, being over 30 does not equate to sidepiece status.”
Let us hope you are right!
“times of people getting married right out of high school/college have changed. it would behoove you to change your mindset with it”
Let us hope you are right.
My mindset is good.
“ -just because they can take care of their own, doesnt mean they will. how many times have married couples divorced and the parent disappears on their own accord. being single and having kids is not vastly different.”
People will support a divorced single parent, there is no shame in that.
But a never-married single mother is the scourge of the earth!
” -that “man” could only tell me how to be attractive to him and since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess your argument is non-valid”
I think you just agreed with me
” -why does the sexual history need to be shared?”
Because who you slept with in important to a lot of men. Focus on the men who don’t care!
” unless you have an incurable STD, let the past be the past. bringing that into new relationships only serves to cause issue. youre dating the person they are now, not who they were or who they slept with. “
Sounds like the typical woman.
“-what does his sexual interest have to do with my looks? am I suppose to be concerned that when Im 10 years older he will leave me if I wont engage in 3somes or whatever else his mind conjures up?”
Fertility is an issue, and yes you will get old & your body will get wack.
“Then so be it. When a REAL MAN loves a REAL WOMAN all that petty stuff (aging/hairloss/wrinkles whatever) doesnt matter as much as it did when he was a BOY and she was a GIRL. They will still have that attraction for each other AND open-mindedness because thats how REAL relationships work. He will not judge her for being 10 years older because he is too and she will be open to satisfy because he means that much to her; they have grown as a couple and know what truly matters.”
A woman getting old & wack is grounds for divorce and/or permission to have a young mistress.
” As for the article itself, seen it before just titled differently if Im not mistaken. Just like men are tired of hearing what they are doing wrong, so are women. It would be nice if BOTH genders took the time to highlight what is being done correctly, but I guess controversy/drama/negativity and such are more appealing to the masses these days.”
(Black) American women need to get their act together. Point. Blank. period!
@CM & Motrenaissance
Both (Black) men and (Black) women need to get their acts together. Collectively, we are doing each other a disservice romantically as we both have a hand in the demise of Black Love.
That said, it is as equally important that modern day woman understand her role in this as much as modern man understands his own. I’ll put it this way:
I firmly believe that men have a firm grasp on the current state of love/relationships, but have either been too lazy/unwilling or too distracted to correct their end of things as they have been too busy enjoying the benefits of female sexual liberation…which some may argue was the catalyst in things becoming the way they are now. The irony. And the circular conversations will continue.
As long as fatherly marriage minded men are being ignored, there is nothing to talk about.
I am not going to hate on a dude to exercises his s*xual capital.
Feminist would excoriate us for doing that to a woman.
@Mr. Sobo, you remind me of Obsidian in the way you write, I like it, I wish you & Corntonio & much success.
And I am looking forward to being banned on this site, if that is even in the realm of possibility
i don’t think one would want to be banned from a site, but we do appreciate the feedback
I understand, but my feedback ain’t sh*t anyway.
My theory in life is
“If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin'”
So as for blogs, “If you ain’t gettin’ banned, you ain’t a real man!”
@ female sexual liberation…which some may argue was the catalyst in things becoming the way they are now. …>> You said a mouthful right here..I, for one, don’t care for circular conversations..prefer dialogue that reaches some sort of definitive solution when trying to analyze why issues exists. But this is a difficult task involving this topic. The fall out of Black love relationships is painfully clear; how to solve it isn’t. As a proud woman’s libber I can see how women’s lib impacted our love relationships..Honestly? I think it is without a doubt WHY things are as skewed as they are now..though I doubt if most of my Black sisters will admit that. What is also more & more clear to me now at this age is; it is almost beyond impossible for folks who haven’t SEEN a great(or even good..) marriage work(or even love relationship between a man /woman) work first hand; to know how to exist in one. I’ve found & observed that from watching people in relationships; those from broken homes struggle to figure out what role they’re to play in a relationship. As a child of parents now happily! (and still in love) married 51 years? I’d love nothing more than to link up & marry a brother with the same background. I’ve just about gotten to the point of making that mandatory. List of reasons why but that is real talk for real…I’m ready for my homerun; and thats highly difficult with men who are clueless how to get to the ball park
“As a proud woman’s libber I can see how women’s lib impacted our love relationships..Honestly? I think it is without a doubt WHY things are as skewed as they are now..though I doubt if most of my Black sisters will admit that”
I must say it is rather refreshing to read this coming from a self proclaimed woman’s libber. You are a free thinker in this regard. Unlike some of the other self proclaimed ‘feminists’ who would rather turn a blinds eye to that which is evident and their extreme counterparts who insist that misandry is the solution to make things ‘right’.
We now reside in the aftermath of the feminist movement and sexual liberation. At which it can boast of accomplishing the following: Blurred gender roles; nuclear family structure is all but non existent; fathers are deemed optional to households/family; egregiously biased child support system/family court laws; so called relationships/marriages that are laughable; very low marriage rates yet extremely high casual sexual relationship rates; clueless men; clueless women; absurdly rising number of single parent homes, et al. The list goes on and on. All this must be the paradise they dreamed of.
But I digress.
Good comment @ bernasvibe. I agree with you.
Truly a monster WE women created. Indeed..All in the hope of so called independence! Independence from what? Love and raising our OWN children instead of strangers from 8 to 5? Now that I’m divorced and single(yet finally ready to date again…) it is very clear where it all started..And trying to sort through the broken pieces to find an eligible mate? How to do this when vast majority of my brothers were NOT co-raised by men? Which is indicative due to the high rate of single Black female households with children..yep, I’m on a roll tonight. It is much too fresh…in the middle of blogging about it actually . And then I’ll leave the topic alone for another couple years
Yeah, its pretty bad all the way around.
However, it is worth discussing. At some point those in denial will have to come to terms with brutal honesty. But men are largely to blame as well. Specifically those who were/are in political positions that cosigned/politicized the marginalization of men in the name of political gain. It is with politics by way of laws, that society is molded and shaped.
Ooooh I just logged on in time to see this response. You said more than a mouthful. I like the way you think! Very well said & expressed. Virtual high five ^
RE: – You should be married by 30, if not, being a sidepiece is a nice consolation prize. As a 30 year old, you could not reasonably expect that any man should put a ring on it.
That’s a bit bizarre. Sounds like you assume all women want to be married and that they are ready by the age of 30.
I’m 29, unmarried and sidepiece is never an option for me. I’d rather be alone than #2
Compliment your man. Men don’t get a quarter of the compliments that women do so don’t forget to tell your man how much you appreciate him and be specific. You don’t want him to get all starry-eyed and act like it’s the first time he ever heard a compliment when another woman offers him one.
true indeed, a lot of women do tend to miss that important insight. Many of them do concentrate on what their man is doing wrong, or not doing.
Barry Burch Jr
Yup, which in turn slowly, but surely destroys the man’s confidence little by little. The exact oppositie of what a good woman should be bringing the relationship.
I dont agree with women nagging about this and that especially if its not necessary. But I do feel like some things are worth being said in a respectful manner. Constructive criticism can go a long way if you focus on the point and not the actual words.
Agreed. If more people focussed on the point and not the words and/or delivery, then there would be a lot less arguments. Unfortunately, delivery/words does matter and perhaps it is the type of delivery/words used that marks the difference between constructive criticism and complaining. For many, looking past the delivery and focusing on the point is difficult to do.
Welcome to the OM.
“For many, looking past the delivery and focusing on the point is difficult to do.”
Indeed! And thank you.
Well thanks for sharing handsome! :o)
Great post; I agree with most of it…
I’m over 30 and I have no desire to learn to drive or get a license. I’m in NYC so driving isn’t a priority for me… Plus I have an active social life (no, not a lush- just don’t want any DUI’s, lol). My cooking skills are not that up to par; at least not for the standard eater since I’m vegan and won’t cook any animal products. I think there should totally be a compromise since many women do expect their man to “be a man”, so if you can cook, great. However, my significant other will have to learn to like tofu.
I think some (not all) women try to keep up with others because they see some (not all) men going after a certain type of woman. I can barely keep up with myself, so I’m not one to bother with wondering what someone else is doing.
I’ve never been one to befriend my significant others friends. In fact, I don’t get chummy with my friends boyfriends. To me, it doesn’t “look” right. And I don’t want anyone thinking I’m flirting with someone.
totally agree with the not befriending your man’s buds. A lot of women seem to overstep their boundaries when it comes to this, I’ve seen it before and it could lead to a lot of issues. So you like tofu huh? Always wondered what that tastes like.
I about died reading #9. I have seen several instances of this happening: No Bueno!
As far as #9, I personally know women who have maybe a third of these things. It all boils down to being responsible. Sometimes I notice our priorities are not where they need to be at all. But thanks for pointing these things out!
Excellent article and great comments. I am really enjoying this site very much.
Thanks for the show of love and readership. There’s more to come..
You should really consider allowing us to give comments a ‘thumbs up’!
that’s something we’ll look into …thanks
no these are not “good points” you sexist fucks.