Men in general since the beginning of time have been instilled with the the gene to be the provider, protector, and that stubborn “I can do it without any help” attitude – basically when you know you’re in a bind and your woman tries to help you and you shut her down.
Men also have been injected with that medicine called ‘male pride’. *Disclaimer now some men can be no good pieces of crap and could care less about anyone but themselves*. All in all, even if it means putting their foot in their mouths, or having ‘egg on their face’, as long as a man feels he stuck to his guns and put his foot down, it’s okay.
Not so fast though! Men can also do and say things that make them look extremely vulnerable, not only to their women but their peers/families as well. Here are a few:
1. Constant arguing (especially with women)
“Walk silent and carry a big stick”…
“A man of few words”…
“Doesn’t need to yell and scream to get his point across”…
…aren’t just cliche’s. They are actually very true and a lot of men fail to adhere to them. I won’t front fellow readers, I get caught up too (LoL), although such an instance is rare and I am not a person to ‘cuss someone out’.
A man is just that, a man. When you sit there and get into constant verbal sparring battles with people (especially with women) it is not a good look. It almost makes you look feminine yourself. Sometimes just saying few words or only speaking when you can to make a strong point as opposed to babbling and yelling along with your counterpart is the best way.
I’ve also learned and experienced that sometimes speaking calmly during an argument is effective because it can diffuse a situation. We are human and tend to become emotional because we’re not robots and do have feelings. In the end however, it’s always better to approach a situation logically, not emotionally.
2. Not being handy or durable
However, fixing or installing some things around the house should be your forte’. It won’t hurt to do things like install a new shower head, fix a leaky faucet, or install a radio. There shouldn’t be any excuse especially since you can simply go on Youtube and look it up.
If you can’t do those for whatever reason you better be able to go out do yard work. Bottom line, your lady shouldn’t be the sole person mowing the lawn, raking leaves, or shoveling snow. If anything you should be the one to do those things. If she is doing the gardening and volunteers to help you, especially if you are doing some serious yard work, no problem.
In the end your woman SHOULD NOT be doing the bulk of the handy work around the house. The inability to be handy or durable is not a good look especially if you’re a family man and/or homeowner.
3. Incessant crying
Men sometimes get so overwhelmed with joy, anger, or sadness that they may shed that tear. No matter how strong you are emotionally sometimes you are drained and have nothing else to do but cry.
Popular opinion says that when a man cries he is often viewed as weak, or a straight punk b*yotch. I’m inclined to disagree because again, men are human and have emotions too.
However, if you are crying over everything you come across i.e., movies, arguments, etc., that certainly isn’t viewed as strong at all. In fact, you need to go sit down somewhere and in the words of the late Bernie Mac, “Go do some damn push-ups or something”! There are times you have to be that rock for your family and be strong.
4. Constant need for approval
“How do I look in this”? “Did that come out good”? “How was I last night” (in bed)?…C’mon mayne! A man – a strong man- doesn’t need to be constantly reminded or reassured about anything. A man should be confident about his. If you had sex with a woman, either you put in work or you didn’t; but to constantly ask if it was good….no sir. If you just so happen to be a two pump chump, well go back to good ol’ Bernie Mac –“I got mine, you better get yours…”
Sometimes we do need that reassurance from our woman, but not all the time. If you take care of your business the way you should, you don’t need to worry. There are rare exceptions: if you cooked something for the first time or are a novice at cooking period, you may want to know if it came out good. Nothing wrong with asking. All in all the constant need for reassurance isn’t exactly a strong characteristic for a man.
5. Too financially dependent
A marriage/relationship is a partnership and the both of you should have each others back, not her carrying you on her back. To me, there are very few things worse than having a man sit back while his woman constantly foots the expenses. There isn’t much more to be said about that.
A man should, for the most part, be able to hold his own financially. And while we’re at it, tone down with the borrowing money from your boys or being cheap when you all go out.
6. Not being a disciplinarian to your children
“Wait ’till your father gets home”, or “I’m telling your father” sounds good doesn’t it? Those phrases means you are doing a good job with your children. Your children should not be scared sh**less of you, but they should have that respect and natural fear of you. You are the father and in relative terms the head of the household, not your children. You should never be afraid to put your foot in a child’s a$$ (within appropriate reason of course). Any father that will allow his child/ren to talk back or disrespect their mother in any way shape or form should have his dad card taken away. And speaking of disrespect…
7. Letting others disrespect your woman
Now, I know it’s crazy out there and men will have no problem using extreme violence to solve problems. I’m not asking a man to put his life in danger. If someone disrespects your woman it’s a tough call, not so much whether or not you defend her, but more so how you go about doing it. Sometimes you may have to get physical with a brotha.
If someone makes an obscene or rude comment, sometimes you have to pick your battles and let it ride. However, if a man puts his hands on your woman, throws a drink on her, or something to that extent, than hey, do what you must. Your job though is to make sure she knows and understands that she is safe with you and that you will have her back.
At the end of the day, be sure you are careful though, because you never know what the next man may have; and you don’t want to leave her husband-less and your children father-less because you wanted to play hero.
8. Whining and complaining
If something happens and things aren’t going your way, and if you have your time to vent, do it. There comes a time where you have to devise a strategy to rectify it. If you didn’t get that raise or promotion, you may sulk and vent but then work harder to get it next time. If someone cut you off in traffic, let it ride. If you hate your job, find another place of employment. Pissing and moaning about you not getting your way makes you a punk. Period.
So that’s MY take on what makes men wussies.
Fellas, what are some other things you feel would make a man look weak? Ladies, what are some things you have seen a man do that made him look weak in your eyes?
People of Opinionated Male, the floor is yours.
**P.S. – DON’T FORGET to kick off your weekend with us LIVE tomorrow morning [July 6th], 11am -1pm as we GUEST APPEAR on the “Walk In Heels” morning show. We will be chatting it up with the lovely hostess’ about errythang, so TUNE IN and start this one Saturday morning off with Mr. SoBo and Cortonio.