African American Man Daydreaming - Opinionatedmaleblog

How Small Distractions can kill Your Biggest Dreams

Surprise! Surprise! It’s the return of the penmen, Mr. SoBo and Cortonio. We are back in the building. Ready, writing, and as raw as ever; and toting a few new surprises as well. But we’ll get to that later. First thing’s first.

In response to the number of emails (and texts) we have received over the months from many of you that have written in wondering where we’ve been (and anyone else who has been silently curious), you can rest assured that we have not stopped blogging.  Sure, things have been very quiet in our little corner of the internet but trust me, we are still very much here.  Now if some of this sounds familiar, it should because we encountered a brief intermission a few years ago. The operative term here being, ‘brief’. This time around however, things are a little different.  And by ‘little’, I mean brontosaurus. Allow me to explain:

How many of you are familiar with the tale of a father who tells his family he is just stepping out to the store to buy milk and will be right back?

Well, I got the milk. I even got some cookies as a bonus treat. But I also got some unexpected company. You see, in my defense, I was on my way back home to OM headquarters. Milk and cookies in hand as promised and right on schedule. That is until I took a few moments along the way to admire and smell the roses.  And that is where the trouble began.


You see, these roses were no ordinary roses, but the idle kind that spring up when you least expect it.  Some of them were indeed sweet smelling, beautiful, and vibrant, seemingly worthy of admiration. While others were piles of shyt camouflaged in pretty rose petals that left me gagging and choking on their stench. But regardless of their intent to seduce or betray my senses, in the end, they were all nothing but colorful distractions.  And distracted I was. So much so, I completely lost my awareness of time and almost my sense of purpose. Milk and cookies in hand.

I couldn’t tell you the number of occasions Cortonio reached out wondering what was taking me so long to return; wondering if I had changed; wondering if I still had my drive. My responses were always the same: “No worries homie. I’m coming. I’m just 5 mins away“.

One week later, “I’m just 5 minutes away“. Six months later, “I’m just 5 minutes away“. Before I knew it, another six months had come and gone, and I was still just 5 minutes away. Still warring with the roses; still staring at OM headquarters up ahead; still maintaining love for my blog while searching for peace; still rocking my jeans without a cuff and a crease.  But in the end, still just 5 minutes away. Which brings me to this little curiosity of life:

If we are not careful; if we are not aware, occasionally life will get in the way of our passions; in the way of our aspirations; in the way of our dreams; in the way of our objectives; in the way of…itself. If you allow it to do so, that is.

Dream Catcher3 - OpinionatedMale.comIt is frighteningly far too easy to become absorbed in the manufactured aspects of our daily meanderings, and so pre-occupied with the bullshyt that comes along with it that we may find ourselves perpetually in motion, in the absence of progress. Devoting our energies not to our advancement, but instead to our distractions. And before we know it, we’ve tabled our dreams for hours, days, weeks, months, years and in some cases, forever. Never to be realized, never to see the light of day. Finding ourselves to have lived our lives, but never our dreams. And that right there is some scary shyt. Terrifying.

To me anyway.

And that ladies and gentlemen was the path I was on.  Caught up in the rapture of roses. Watering these little shop of dream hungry horrors with my precious energy and time to not only have them grow out of control and teeter on the edge of taking control, but also swallow my dreams in the process. And devour my dreams they almost did.  That is until I stopped providing sustenance to those relentless rosy distractions and refocused my energy into nurturing my dreams and cultivating my passions. The end result – clarity, footing, and momentum.

And so here I am. Back at OM headquarters. Milk and cookies still in hand.  Welcoming 2016. Mr. SoBo and Cortonio. Still dreaming; still dream chasing; and most importantly, still dream catching.

As far as life’s little and great distractions are concerned, there will never be such a thing as a shortage. They are bountiful and they are determined. Crafty and formless. Apparent and ahead of you or humming gently and seductively in the background beckoning for your valuable attention.  Easily discernible when they descend in the form of  loss, disappointment, heartache, obstacles, drama or stress. Other times more deceptively inconspicuous, presenting themselves as obligations (school/work/etc), financial limitations, procrastination, entertainment, good times, that fun pretty girl/handsome guy, and even ill-conceived love.

The challenge has always been how well we can resist the urge to be lured into committing too much of our energy into life’s distractions, instead of towards what brings our spirit the most fulfilling satisfaction – our passions.

To that I say: Find yours and you will know what it is to live. Admire the roses for too long and you will master what it is to exist. Stop and sniff at your own risk.

And that my good people, is my profoundly non-profound, broad, behind-the-scenes tale of OM’s extended intermission.

Now about those ‘milk and cookies’. Well, we have a lot of sweet treats in store for you. A lot of great posts coming your way from yours truly and Cortonio, and quite a few featured guest posts that I’m sure will stir your juices way or another. Oh and of course, plenty of interesting advice column letters to share with you as well. I’m looking forward to this new season of OM, and I sincerely hope you -our beloved readers- are too.

Now let the shenanigans, bloggery and edutainment of this exciting new season begin!

But before I forget – What are your passions in life? Your dreams? Are you living them? And if not, why not? What’s stopping you?



Updated on 01/15/19, Post originally entitled, “Caught up in the Rapture of Roses: The Danger in Losing Sight of Your Dreams”

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