An Inside View Of A Tormented Soul


As a 40 year old man I sit here analyzing my life.
Why do I have four kids but never married a wife?
I have bills coming out my rear and standing up to my neck
I never get ahead with money, I just live check to check

There’s an eviction notice on my door…I gotta be out soon
That means another trip to mom’s house by the end of June
I pay lots of child support, but I’m the one who needs support
Maybe one of my little ones will grow up to play pro sports

I got these two lines of coke that I think I should snort
By the middle of this month, I have a date set in court

As I look in the mirror, I see what I have become
My cheeks are sunken in and the bags under my eyes are now drums
Once a cinnamon complexion my skin has become pale
My hands once strong but soft, now have become frail
My hairline is receding and the rest of my hair is falling out
If you look into my eyes you’ll see my emotions calling out

I’ve taken this Jim Beam and began to drink away my sorrows
I’m trying to get through today, nevermind tomorrow
As I take these sips I feel the warmth going down my throat
I have to resort to this to keep myself mentally afloat

About 3/4 of the way through it…I start to wonder why
How can I just sit here and watch life pass me by
I had a lot on my plate and went and fu**ed it all up
I shouldn’t have bailed on things, I should have sucked it up

Well there’s a lesson to learn by this to the end
Nothing in life is guaranteed, everything else just depends….



9 comments on “An Inside View Of A Tormented Soul

  1. Wow! That was heavy…


    • I figured I’d mix it up a little with some poetry.


      • I’ve been a poem-lover/writer since I was a little girl..I believe it is the best way to express one-self..Love it! And whether your piece was real or not; it sure seemed real when reading it. Very well written. 2 thumbs UP


        • Thanks. ( it’s not about me …LoL) but I just wanted to kind of take you into the mind and soul of a man who nothing goes right for him. Tell a friend to tell a friend about us, we have a little something for everyone. Again thanks. There’ll be some more poetry in the future


          • Ahhh ok, whew! LoL I wasn’t quite sure how to respond if it was about you..I had my empathetic hat on and I was about to start writing words of comfort..How awesome to write from a different perspective; creative! I’ve not yet been able to master that feat..but I’m working on it. My best skill set is expressing things from my own viewpoint or experiences. And I think I’ve got your page locked in on my faves; and has been for a while; so folks who see my page know yours is an interesting page(or it wouldn’t be listed in my faves…) 🙂


  2. Thanks for sharing Cortonio. Rarely have the opportunity to read any literature concerning the black stuggling male that is trying to do things “right”. Typically we only read about women. Enjoyed…


  3. Wow,.. that was tight.. As a woman I can relate to that struggle somewhat.. But your poetry & emotional volume was loud and clear… I’m glad I found this site, and your words of life…

    One Love,


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