Ladies have you ever been with a guy who does everything the ‘right way’ but you seem to tire of him quickly? Have you ever been with a guy who’s a pure gentlemen and damn near kisses the ground you walk on but still not enough? Ok well let’s peep the following scenario shall we?
Cliff, a high school principal, is a handsome guy in his early 30’s. He makes good money, has no children and owns a dog. He is somewhere between a gold and platinum if you read the 1st article “All gold Everything: What Type of Man are you Dating?“. Deidre who is also in her early 30’s, is an accountant, has no children, and she’s also easy on the eyes. They happen to bump into each other at a convenience store, and surprisingly hit it off with some nice conversation. They exchange numbers and go about their way.
A few days go by and he initiates the phone call. Again, they have great conversation.
After a week of phone calls between the two, he asks her out on a date and she agrees.On that day, he arrives at her home and greets her with flowers. They then head to a restaurant for dinner. He holds the door for her upon entrance into the restaurant, as well as pulls out her chair. They go on to enjoy a nice meal in which he willingly picks up the tab. When they leave the establishment its quite chilly outside, so he offers her his coat. He even walks on the traffic side of the sidewalk (walking on the outside of the sidewalk–a gesture guys should get familiar with….ya heard).
He drives her home, opens her door and walks her to her porch. They exchange a friendly hug, a polite kiss on the cheek and then he leaves. Everything seems cool, I don’t see any problems with this date, right? Well the following day Cliff calls Deidre to let her know he had a good time and hopes she did too, on an answering machine. Two days go by, no Deidre. On the third day he calls again and leaves another message.
The next day he was talking to one of his female acquaintances over lunch and told her of his dilemma. She happens to know Deidre and tells him she hadn’t returned his call because he wasn’t her type. Was it his looks? No. Was it a lack of conversation/boredom on the date? No. He paid for the meal so he couldn’t be labeled as cheap. What was it? It was because she thought he was too nice. Now I ask the readers what is “too nice?”
He seemingly did all the right things. He didn’t blow up her phone, and he waited a few days before the initial call. He wasn’t being pushy and even after leaving her a message, he waited a couple days to call her again. He showed chivalry to the 10th power, but he was too…nice.
This is where many guys seem to get lost in translation. I mean how could she make this assessment on the first date? Why do females tend to ostracize men who show a little bit of chivalry and are just ‘good guys’? A lot of women would love to have guys that possess that old fashioned way. You DO want a guy to make sure you’re comfortable and safe..right? If you’re cold, you wouldn’t mind a man giving you his coat…yes? Now if a guy is a straight push over with no backbone, I guess that’s different.
Could it be that women have become used to a certain type of man, that they no longer know how to differentiate or appreciate? Is it that they have become so independent and used to doing things on their own, that a man who holds doors, pulls out chairs, and pays is of a different species? Why is it the ‘bad boys’ seem to get a lot of the attention from women? Now don’t get me wrong, I am not spewing sour grapes, nor have I been burned by this incident,… but it just makes me wonder what happened.
What IS wrong with being a nice guy? Chime in and let me know what you think.
peace and god bless.
Title update 01/15/19, Originally entitled, “And in Last Place, Here Come’s Mr. Nice Guy…Again”