You have that ‘talk’ with your girl who is now going to become your ex. She didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore so now you’re single. You were a loyal guy throughout your relationship and spurned advances from other women; hence you have no one to turn to as a back up option. So…what do you do now?
Well people have always contended (especially for women) that now is the time to get to know yourself. And dating yourself is probably not a bad idea at all. Am I saying it’s better to be single? No. But there are some benefits of actually practicing this endeavor. Such as….
You can go where you want
S/O: Baby let’s go see that romantic comedy...
You: Huh? Wait, but I thought we were going to Brian and Marlena’ s cookout?
S/O: I know but I really wanted to see that movie, and we can always go to Brian and Marlena’s.
Ever had that happen to you? You really wanted to go elsewhere but you grudgingly decide to go where she wants for a quiet life. Looking forward to hanging out with Brian and the fellas playing cards, sipping brews, and just shootin the sh*t, while she’s with Marlena and her lady folk. You’re now stuck going to a rom-com that probably has no com to begin with. Well going out on a date alone you no longer have that quandary. You’re not negotiating with anyone, nor worrying about repercussions of not going where they want. You just go ahead and see where the day/night takes you.
No time constraints
When you’re out alone, you can stay out as long as you want. When you’re ready to leave and go home you can do that. If you’re ready to leave and go elsewhere you can do that too. You’re not on any one’s time but yours.
Get to know thy self
When you were involved with someone, chances are of all the outings you went on 60% of them were their wants or ideas. How about going out alone? You may end up going to or doing things that you never thought you liked as opposed to the customary dinner, movie, bar, etc. Ever thought of going to an art show? A poetry slam? Maybe even a concert in the park? You might realize you always liked those things but just never tried them out. Doing something out of your comfort zone usually turns out to not be so bad after all.
Money money money
Plain and simple you are paying for one person and one person only: YOURSELF! You can spend as little as you want or as much as you want and have no regrets. Nor do you have to worry about whether or not you are ‘getting any‘ that night as a result of paying (guys). And ladies you have no issues as to whether a brother ‘cheaped’ out on you.
Makes you more socially adept
For those of you who lived on campus while in school, remember moving there for the first time? Your friends from around the way weren’t there and your friends from school went on and did their own thing. I’m sure you kept in touch but you had to fend for yourself. And outside of them you were probably kind of shy. What did you do? You mingled and were able to meet and got to know new people in college. As a result, you have a new clique of friends or that one cool a$$ male or female you kicked it with. That’s the way it is when you date yourself. You don’t have the comfort of your honey being with you as your ace in the hole. In this case you’re forced to go on your own.
This is especially true if you’re in a very social setting such as a cookout or party. And by meeting new people there’s always a chance of networking or just simply finding a person or people who share common interests with you.
Judgment Free Zone
Ever wanted to go to a concert involving a band playing ‘weird’ music? How about going to see a wacky comedy you couldn’t PAY your ex-beau to come and see with you? What about driving for miles just to go get some food that you’re craving, going to see a tarot card reader, or going to catch your local high school football game. How about going to a peep show? (just kidding!…maybe). Hey maybe you can go to your local park and feed the birds.
Seriously, it pains to be in the company of someone and you want to do something unconventional and s/he has something derogatory to say. Dating alone you can go where you’d like without being looked at with not just one side-eye… but ten. I have dated myself a few times and one movie I went to see was “Clerks 2” and trust me, the female circle I knew at the time WOULD NOT go and see that movie. So I just said, “Screw it, I want to see it and I am going to”. And quite frankly I enjoyed myself.
So OM family, have any of you ever ‘dated’ yourself? If so, what did you do and how would you rate the experience? What are some other benefits you’d like to add to this list? Do you even agree that there are benefits to dating yourself? Let us know!
Much love and thanks to all of our OM readers past and present. Appreciate your readership and support
“…Smart Men Rock”