Allow me to set the scene: Music is playing. Several people are even shaking their tail feathers. Drinks are flowing, food is in abundance, and everyone is mingling with each other. The men are in the next room getting their card game on. Mike – while partaking in the events of the party – is feeling nervous. He has been dating Shana for two years and he wants to pop the question.
Midway through the party he seizes the opportunity and asks the DJ to stop the music. He requests everyone’s attention and then brings Shana to the middle of the spacious room. Mike, once on edge, now becomes relaxed. He holds her close by the hands and looks into her eyes as he professes his love for her. Soon thereafter, gets down on one knee to the “oooh’s and awww’s” of the women in the room, accompanied by the approving smiles of the men. “Will you give me the honor of being my wife?”, he asks. Shana looks at him for a few seconds with a somewhat stoic expression. She purses her lips together and the excitement in the room is at a fever pitch as everyone eagerly and optimistically anticipates her reply. However, much to everyone’s surprise and dismay as her voice cracks she utters, “Mike I love you, but I’m sorry. I can’t. No”.
To say the air was sucked out of the room is an understatement. Mike at this point is feeling dejected, confused, and somewhat embarrassed at the turn of the events. He gets up slowly and walks away retreating into another room. Shana, on the other hand, is like an athlete at a press conference answering a bevy of questions from her closest friends and family as to why.
Having a significant other rejecting your marriage proposal is a definite punch in the gonads, and you’re left with a cocktail of mixed emotions. But isn’t that what women want – a marriage with everything else falling into place?
So I ask you ladies and gentlemen – what is Mike to do? What would anyone do? It’s not as simple as typical break up. And it’s not as though they were already engaged and it was subsequently called off. Does or should Mike end things altogether? Has Shana already made that decision with her rejection?
If the person you are proposing to says “No”, it creates a tough situation since it places your relationship in a quandary. Do you go back to being girlfriend and boyfriend? Hmnn…You can’t go backwards, or can you? If she wasn’t ready to take that step, do you stick around and make another attempt when you think she’s ready? And if so, when is that? Does she have to pass you a note telling you? So many questions.
Maybe you can help with the answers and opinions.
Updated on 01/15/19, Post originally entitled, “So she Said “No” – Is all Hope Lost? When Marriage Proposals go Wrong”