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Fashion,  Satire

Top 8 Signs Your Hair Needs to be Done

You ever sit there and think, “Damn. I got a hair don’t” or ,”This is a tough do“? Well here are the top 8 signs your joint needs some serious TLC. Now this isn’t to disparage those who like it au’ naturale, but in the end you can’t just walk around with your hair like who done it, why and HOW?

1. WHEN COMBING YOUR HAIR IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE’S BITING INTO A PIECE OF FRUIT

You know that sound when your biting into an apple or pear? Well if your comb makes that sound when you’re trying to comb it…yeah….you need some assistance, and for that matter…

2. YOU’VE BROKEN QUITE A FEW COMBS

And we aint talking Sean Diddy. If your combs looks like someones grill with some missing teeth, you know what I’m talking about. Your joint shouldn’t be that bad that you’re sitting there assaulting hair combs.

3. YOU’VE GONE THROUGH AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF PINK LOTION…FOR ONE SIDE OF YOUR HEAD

For all of you that don’t know, Pink Lotion is a hair moisturizer that people use for their hair. It’s mostly to untangle and/or soften up the hair so it’s easier for you to style. Usually the average ‘dose’ is about the size of a teaspoon and in some cases a tablespoon. However, if you run out of it and you still have another side of your head to go, then…

4. A PONY TAIL IS OUT OF THE QUESTION AND NEVER AN OPTION

I’ve seen one too many females who try to force a pony tail out of nothing. Not cool. Just leave it the way it is.

5. ‘BEADY BEADS’  TAKE ON AN ENTIRELY NEW MEANING

In the hit tv show ‘Martin‘ he always made fun of Pam for having ‘buck shots’ or ‘beady beads’ although they were never shown. It’s one thing to have a tight curl or two in the back of your head, after all you can’ t catch all the baby hair. But when you have what appears to be a meeting of bugs in the back of your head, time to get them clippers. Beady beads are not a good look at all.

6. IF YOUR HAND OR FINGERS ITCH, YOU RUN THEM THROUGH YOUR HAIR TO SCRATCH THEM

If your hair is THAT rough you have to rub your fingers through it to scratch them, sucks to be you. I have legit heard of females who cut, yes cut their finger braiding another person’s hair.

7. YOU HAVE TO USE A LINT BRUSH TO BRUSH YOUR HAIR

If your hair hasn’t been done or touched in so long you have pieces of lint in them, it’s time for some serious TLC.

8. YOU’RE ROCKING A PERMANENT ‘BEAD HEAD’

For those who are unfamiliar with the term, it is when you wake up in the morning and your hair is flattened on one side from sleeping on it (usually for those with shorter styles).

Anyway, there you have it. The Top 8 signs your hair needs to be done. Just a little lighthearted list to start your week off with either a chuckle or a smile turned upside down. So tell me, are there any other signs that I may have missed? What would you add to this list? Fill me in. The floor is yours.

peace.

My motto is, "Live, love and laugh". Check me out in the "Men Behind The Pen" section on OpinionatedMale.com.

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