If You Need To Know Just Ask: 11 Awkward Questions Women Ask Men

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I have been asked a lot of questions by women at different stages in my life.  Most notably, questions about men, our idiosyncrasies and our tendencies. So without further ado, here are some of those questions women have asked men, as well as my honest answers from,  well you guessed it,… a man’s perspective.

1. Why when y’all are losing hair, you just can’t let it go?

Well, I’m on both sides of the fence myself. I have two pieces of logic of thought on this:

A) I totally agree with the ‘let it go’ point of view. After all, it’s one thing to have somewhat of a receding hair line or a slight thinning that you may be able to get away with until its absolutely necessary to make a decision. However, if you clearly have a receding hairline that you don’t even know where it ends or begins, or the giant “O” at the top of your head, you gotta cut it. Sorry, but it is what it is.

B) This is where I side with the fellas. We are very strong  yet sensitive. Sometimes lacking confidence on the inside and even the most machismo testosterone induced males don’t want to show any short comings or signs of weakness. That said, similar to Samson, our hair can be a form of strength for us.

A man (or woman for that matter) born with what this society considers a “good grade” of hair, starts out with a plus in life. He has the ability to grow it out curly, long with a pony tail, and will have the plebeians of women who want to touch it, braid it, play with it and yes, in some cases even lead him to the promise land called ‘cutty’. <– I’m not even kidding about that one either.  However, regardless of what his hair type is, so long as he has hair, he’ll have a plethora of styles he can experiment with.

As we all can admit, having a full head of hair breeds confidence and fullness, and when/if we lose it, it takes something away from us that we can’t get back. So perhaps ladies, you can understand why some men can’t let it go.

2. Why do you take so long to sh*t?

To be totally honest, one of two things:

A) If we haven’t gone all day and we are finally in our comfort zone we want to cherish and relish in the ambiance of simply taking a good ‘ish’ and we don’t want to be rushed, bothered, or asked anything while we’re doing our… *ahem*… duty.

B) If the bathroom in our dwellings is extremely comfortable–especially to the married brothers whose wives hook the bathroom up with potpourri, plush mats and such, then we’re just chilling. If we have a good book or magazine we just read and sometimes forget we’re done dropping. Don’t be surprised if some even take their lap tops in there.

3. Why don’t you go down on us more often and when you do, what are you thinking?

While there are some men who love vaginal candy, there are some who just don’t. So some men simply ‘eat the box’ out of obligation but they don’t really want to go down there, although in turn we do love massive amounts of BJ’s…but I digress. Other times we may do it  just to get your engines going so we can ‘get to it’. And then there are those of us that truly enjoy going down, while others find themselves asking ,“Why the f** am I doing this” while slurping away.

4. Why don’t you put the toilet seat down?

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Sorry, a lot of us just don’t. If we are bachelors living alone, some of us just don’t think enough about the female guests we have over to leave the seat down. I know it sounds selfish, but what more can we say?

5. How long do you expect us to be with you before you commit?

When we’re damn good and ready.  If you care to go along for the ride cool, if not then find the next man who’ll put a ring on your finger by merely smelling your perfume.

There are those men who take a while and simply want to make sure there’s security first. Then there are others who are shopping at Zales immediately. All in all it depends on the compatibility, chemistry, and whether or not WE (men) are done playing the field. While I don’t believe in the novelty of shacking up and getting the milk for free, for some men (not all), it is what it is.

6. Do you ever fake orgasms?

No, we’re not deceiving conniving creatures like you all. Just kidding…kinda. If it feels good we’ll let you know. And there are some men who’ll let you know sooner than others. Zing! #shots fired.

Now I’m not into the excessive grunting and groaning but shoot if it’s good, you don’t have to worry. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a man who faked c*mming. Take a look at this…

7. What’s the point of asking for my number if you aren’t gonna call?

Plain and simple, to see if we still got it. Of course there are women who actually pique our interest enough to the point we desire to have a conversation over telephone.  But believe it or not, there are some of us who are actually shy and do not know how to initiate that first cal. However, for the majority of us that do ask for the number and don’t call, either we realized we weren’t that interested in the first place, or the satisfaction of knowing “we still got it” is the reason.

8. Why haven’t I met your parents yet?

If we’ve been dating for a short time, don’t expect to meet the folks unless we (men) have determine you are actually the one, or at the very least have potential to be. Those of us who have mothers that latch on to a desirable female don’t wanna hear THAT question if things go awry. What is THAT question you ask?: “What happened to (so and so)? She was a nice girl.  or “Where is (such and such) I haven’t seen her in a while”?  We just don’t feel like going through those motions of having to explain. At least if we’ve been dating a while, we may feel comfortable enough with you to do the meet and greet. But quite honestly, we don’t want to meet your folks right away either.

9. Isn’t watching six hours of football or endless ESPN enough?

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Three words no, No, and NO. We don’t ask you about soap operas, dancing shows, or whatever “housewife” or “basketball wife” marathon  you are watching at the time. So please don’t ask us. Now, are we going to let it compromise or damage our quality time? Absolutely not. So please just understand. We let you watch your shows, so let us watch ours. Period.

10. Have you ever cheated on an ex before?

Generally speaking, that’s a question we won’t ask you, so don’t ask us. There are some men who are coy and some who are up front. If we have cheated before, and we answer your question with sincerity, what good will it do you? We don’t want you having preconceived thoughts about us and whether or not we’d do it to you. The same goes for us, so don’t ask don’t tell. Some men have nothing to hide and will tell you if they have or have not, but some would just rather not delve into that conversation.

11. What do guys talk about when y’all get together?

Cookbooks, recipes, what happened on Dancing With The Stars. All jokes aside it all depends on who we are conversing with. It can be a plethora of things, but we have our Mens’ Room you all have your Lady’s Room so we’ll leave it at that.

On that note,… Ladies, what are some other questions have you asked men that you are dying to know the answers to? Gents, what sorts of questions have you been asked that placed you in an awkward or uncomfortable position of answering? The floor is yours.

That’s all for part 1 of,  “If You Need To Know Just Ask”. Stay tuned for part 2.  Until next time……….

peace

—Cortonio

14 thoughts on “If You Need To Know Just Ask: 11 Awkward Questions Women Ask Men

  1. What a cute topic! I can always appreciate hearing the male perspective! Majority of my dearest friends are guys…Even my 2 X’s are on my friends forever list..And Lord knows I’ve asked them a couple of these questions..Especially the whole toilet seat UP thing..WtH? As a woman I admit there are things I won’t ever understand about MEN..Even having co-raised 3 of them; because I’m a woman we just think different. We’re wired in 2 very different ways…On purpose and for a purpose..Having said that there is a great deal I can understand why men think or do as they DO…BUT the toilet seat up is a deal breaker. I won’t budge. I will bend on alot of things to connect and link UP for Love…So dangit so should guys..And the toilet seat up thing is beyond just annoying..Its dangerous! I have almost broke my neck slipping into a toilet in the dark! That is so serious…if I’m half sleep I forget I’m not home..and then splash! IF you love me and/or dig me (care for me) then you better THINK enough to put the seat down..And trust and believe IF I’m at your house overnight?? It means it is because I think and feeeeeel you care about me..Confirm it by putting the seat down. I don’t ask for much. I even believe in paying dutch on dates and treating when I am the one who extended the date offer….I will cook for my man. I will run his bath water . I will warm oil rub his entire body down …I will clean for my man..I will NOT bitch and moan over his sports time…BUT none of that comes if I have to fall into his toilet. And that is the end of my rant. Oooo feel so much better lolllll You’ve given me an idea & I’m going to blog a list of questions guys have asked lil ole me. And my responses….

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      1. I bet…I co-raised 3 heckified awesome brothers plus was once happily married to one..So at one given time I was the ONLY female, Queen Bee, in a household of 4 seating lifting males…*sigh* I couldn’t seem to convince even our sons to leave the lid down..Big of as influence as I had on them; their Dad’s influence, regarding ALL toilet matters , over rode mine..I understood that in part; for he showed them how to use the potty…I wasn’t equipped to do that..BUT had I worked on him early enough; he would’ve in turn taught them to put the dang seat down after using the toilet! Once I was divorced and sons grown and gone off to college. I decided..It would be a rule from the get-go with my next husband. With all that I give, when I’m in a love relationship, I don’t think it is too much to ask…Its not a deal breaker ; but jeeeez I sure hope it isn’t something I have to concede either Lol, lol! You should stop by & read the sister-piece I did to your question piece…

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  2. Are these really awkward questions? LOL Reads more like my list of first date go-tos…With the exception of number two (very aptly numbered by the way)…that’s more like a year 3 question. I tend to ask men a lot what the big deal with sports is. I ask men about their physical preferences in women–do you just date black women? do you have a type? what features do you notice first? I think those things say something about a man. I always want to know why you approached me, how did I catch your fancy? I tend to ask men consistently how many sexual partners and relationships they’ve been in and I want details!!! I ask men about the double standard of women sleeping with many partners and being labeled “hoes” while promiscuous men are seen as more masculine. I’ve definitely asked the fake orgasm one. And I have had men tell me they will intentionally let one go quicker if it’s a “situation” they’re not really feeling–which is worse than faking one in my book lol. I ask men to explain the whole “money over b*tches” philosophy. And I always want to know what his passion is? What gets a man riled up and emotional besides the Lakers game?

    Damn, now that I really think about it, I guess I ask men A LOT of questions because I haven’t even tipped the iceberg haha. Every time an opportunity affords itself for me to get inside a man’s mind, I will. Guess it’s the journalist in me. Oh well. My boo loves me.

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    1. interesting view points…Those are just questions I have come in contact with whether it’s being asked of me, or someone else, and I’m sure some of the questions women wanted to know but never had the ahem–balls–ahem to ask (LoL)…stay tuned for part 2…and thanks for your continued readership, much love and appreciation.

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  3. Interesting because I’ve seen men admit to faking (this topic has come up on twitter)
    http://www.gq.com/entertainment/humor/201301/men-fake-orgasms
    http://m.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/417_how-to-fake-an-orgasm.html
    (I chose male sites they were likely more thorough)

    As for number 10. It may be awkward but it’s an important question. Many people hide things in a relationship and then blame the other party for not asking. -_-
    While once a cheater, may not be always a cheater – your past does shape your present and potentially your future.

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  4. interesting, because I–and I’m sure I can speak for most men, find it extremely hard to fake ejaculating, I mean you can make the noise like you are orgasming, but after thrusting in a warm moist place ‘x’ amount of times man is bound to ejaculate. A woman can fake it because truth be told it’s harder to make her orgasm as opposed to a man.

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    1. I’m gonna have to disagree with you here homes. Faking an orgasm is not some David Copperfield magic act. Its as simple as a few fake moans accompanied by the harlem shake, and there you go. A fake orgasm. The reality is that there men who have faked climaxing for a number of different reasons. Not all cooch was created equal, and not all cooch is good cooch. The presumption that a warm moist place is automatically a guaranteed good time is flawed thinking.

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