10 Things Women do that Make no Damn Sense to Men
“I know you Jenny and most of all…. I know women” This was a quote from Bill Bellamy’s character in the movie “How to Be a Player”. If only we all could have that gift. In life we go through different experiences with women, some good some bad. Some women are predictable as Thursday coming after Wednesday, while others are as predictable as the weather. Have you ever seen some women in action and asked yourself, “Why”?
At times it may feel as if no matter how hard you try, you can never make any rationale of a woman’s moves. Here’s some things women say or do on a regular that drive men crazy. I will grade them in 3 categories:
- Huh?
- Head Scratcher.
- WTF?!
Here goes:
“WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD GUYS?” BUT CONTINUOUSLY DEALS WITH MEN WHO ARE THE OPPOSITE
Category: Head Scratcher
We all know that (most) women deep down inside the crevasses of their well-being desire that so called ‘bad boy’. It’s just nature I guess, especially to women who are younger and haven’t really experienced life yet. Personally, I don’t have an issue with a woman wanting an ‘edgier man’ as their companion. Hey, to each is own. On the flip side however, why would you rant, rave and moan about wanting a ‘good man’ and how they’re supposedly “all taken”?
It is unlikely you would truly appreciate what ‘good men’ have to offer in the first place since you opt for the guy who mistreats and/or disrespects you when he sees fit. Not to mention you’re likely constantly dealing with some sort of drama surrounding your poor relationship choices. I know, I know ,“but he’s fun, exciting, puts me in my place and got that good d*ck”. Whatever.
It’s all about being real. If you don’t really want the good guy then stop with the self-righteous behavior, because in the end it’s just fake.
SHE HAS (OR MAY HAVE) KIDS, BUT REFUSES TO DATE MEN WITH CHILDREN
Category: Huh?
As time has gone on single men with children have become common place, but for some women, dating these men is still seen as some sort of taboo. If you don’t have children, fine; but why then would you castigate a man who has children? Or what if you do have children – why have this attitude towards men that do also? You mean to tell me if a man has all the attributes you desire, but because there’s an offspring or two in the mix he gets NO shot? That’s the equivalent of you saying, “I have an apartment, and so does he but he still isn’t good enough”. You might not know his circumstances. What if he had them at a young age? What if he actually did it the ‘right way’- you know, got married first but things didn’t work? There could be a plethora of reasons.
Like the old saying goes, “Don’t throw stones if you live in a glass house”. You could very easily be that woman who had multiple children by multiple men which by the way leads me to….
HAS A CHILD BY ONE MAN, DOESN’T WORK OUT. RINSE, WASH, REPEAT SEVERAL MORE TIMES
Here I go again with the old idioms – “Fooled me once shame on you, fooled me twice shame on me”. Now before I get hate mail and molotov cocktails thrown at my humble dwellings, I totally understand how women can easily get caught up in the ‘baby mama’ pool. And I get that things just didn’t work, and in the end you’re not compatible with that man. Cool. I have a question though: Why would you have a child, break up/divorce, meet another man, have a child, break up/divorce, wash, rinse repeat?
In the instance you don’t get along with the father(s) of said child(ren), its possible the child(ren) will be deprived of an adequate relationship with their respective father; and we all know the importance of having a father, not a sperm donor, but a father in a child’s life.
Additionally, you’ve also increased your chances of requiring assistance from the system. At some point you have to stop and ask ,”Why am I doing this to them and myself”?
Sorry but that gets a WTF?! from me.
WEARS SUPER SHORT SKIRTS AND HAS TO KEEP PULLING IT DOWN
Category: Huh?
Never understood that at all. I’m sure 10,000% of you all have at least one mirror in the crib. Heck, I’m sure you have one in every room but the kitchen, so why come out the house without checking yourself? If your skirt is too short for comfort, change before leaving. Period.
WEARS PROVOCATIVE CLOTHING, THEN GETS ANNOYED WHEN MEN GIVE HER ATTENTION
Category: Huh? & Head Scratcher
Let’s see here: see-through leggings with a thong (or nothing) underneath; skirt with a huge slit up the middle or sides; shirt showing lots of cleavage; low waist pants that expose underwear when you bend over, etc. I believe by now you catch my drift.
Once again, you have mirrors. If you’re one of those women who is deliberate in your provocative wardrobe presentation, then you can’t possibly get offended by a man checking you out. If he catcalls you, different story; but be honest with yourself, you did ask for the attention. After all, why wear those types of risque outfits if it wasn’t attention you were seeking? I was out one day and a pretty, nicely shaped female with her friend walked by a group of men. She had on some booty cutter shorts with a tight shirt and some wedges. As they walked by, two of the guys yelled out, “dayum!” She sucked her teeth and said to her friend, “Damn, these thirsty a$$ ni**az!” I said to myself: “well you showed them cold water on a hot day, what’d you expect??”
CLAIMS INDEPENDENCE, BUT FLIPS THE SCRIPT WHEN THE CHECK COMES
Category: Huh?
I don’t really have to explain as the title says it itself. No issues here with independent progressive ladies ,but you can’t burn both ends of the candle. If you can make and spend your own money then don’t act like a man should take care of you financially all the way through. Nothing wrong with a man footing expenses and treating you well, but if you are independent and progressive then you should reciprocate sometimes.
IS OFFENDED BY DEROGATORY TERMS, YET GETS AMPED WHEN DEROGATORY SONGS ARE PLAYED
Category: A huge WTF?!
First, listen to this song. Now I am all for nostalgic hip hop and I still bump Snoop Dogg’s “Doggy Style” to this day but man, what I see these days from some women makes me cringe. These two songs were played at an event I attended and a group of women there sang them in unison while waving their hands as if they were actually performing on stage. ‘Nuff said.
BAD MOUTHS A GUY’S MANHOOD, BUT LETS HIM SMANG MORE THAN ONCE
Category: Huh? & Head Scratcher
I never understood this notion of a woman having relations with a man more than once but dissing him to her girls about his ‘meat missile’. If you were played by him and said it out of anger, well, we all say things out of anger. If you were simply clowning him about his size, did it dawn on you that you let him enter you on more than one occasion? You had to have seen the size of it before he put it in, so W\why clown the man later? Don’t get it. Ladies, maybe you can explain this logic.
WANTS MEN TO BE HONEST, THEN GETS UPSET WHEN SHE GETS THE TRUTH
Category: Head scratcher
This is a perfect example.
Okay maybe not that abrasive (but it be like that sometimes). Yes, the truth hurts, and I mean in any conversation or argument you may have with your spouse. Most women want men to be honest and forthcoming but can’t handle the truth at all. If you ask your man how a certain outfit looks, something tastes, what he thinks, so forth… if he’s the brutally honest type, you can’t get mad at him. If anything at least you have a man who has that quality (so long as he doesn’t pick and choose when to be honest).
“I’LL ONLY BE 5 – 10 MINUTES”
Category: For this one, yeah right!
You know damn well you’re not going to be 5-10 minutes. Why even say it?
So OM readers there’s my take on confusing things women do. Fellas, what are some other side eye worthy things women do/say? Ladies, chime in as well. Are you guilty of some of these things? If so, help me understand the rationale.
peace
Title update on 01/15/19. Post Originally entitled, “Things Women Do That Get A Major ‘Side Eye’ From Men”
Cortonio
My motto is, "Live, love and laugh". Check me out in the "Men Behind The Pen" section on OpinionatedMale.com.
12 Comments
NikkiSky99
New reader to this blog, and many excellent points were made.
I just wanted to comment on # 2.
Why not date men with children? Well – having children adds a whole new balance to the picture. First of all – a woman who dates a man with children knows she will never come first. The child(ren) will (and should) always take first precedence. Some people are willing to accept that, others aren’t. There is a heightened level of self-sacrifice and additional responsibility involved that the childless person may not want to jump into. Let’s say that things progress and you end up marrying this person with children. There’s an additional emotional and even financial committment involved as one really shouldn’t date a man with children unless she is willing and able to commit to these children as if they were her own – knowing that she will always be the background, contributing her time, resources, love, and energy but never having full parental rights as she is not, nor will she ever be – the biological parent. Your view on parenting will ultimately at some point get shut down because “you aren’t their mother” regardless of your contribution. This is huge. I’ve seen great relationships end over this dynamic. It’s one I’m not willing to take on.
Additionally – other factors complicate the dating scenario. Such as – what is the relationship the father has with the mother of his child(ren)? I’ve seen countless scenarios in which one or both parents have failed to strike a respectful, proper balance and fails to accept the fact that their roles in each other’s lives are over in the dating capacity and now only exist in the co-parenting capacity. In fact – this tension tends to be the norm and not the exception to the rule. And frankly – it’s a lot, especially when you are used to just caring for yourself. There are just too many other dating options out here to deal with this.
What of the children themselves? What if they have decided that they really want Mommy and Daddy to be together and do not want to accept you, ever? This one is a big one. Am I willing to live the many ramifications of all of that? What if the child(ren) wants to come live with their father? I know that where I am in my life – I’m not okay with that – jumping into a ready made scenario
Children are a choice. A responsibility. One that I’ve chosen not to take on in my own life until I’m married to a man who wants children – with me – and we have chosen to embark on this journey together. I don’t judge anyone who has chosen otherwise. But I respect a person’s choice to have children, and I ask that you respect my choice equally. I also am very aware of the fact that were I to change my mind and choose to have a child – a partial consequence of this choice is that my potential dating pool would instantly change as others may decide as I have: that they do not want to date both me and my child. And that’s life.
Mr SoBo
Yeah. What she said.
Broke it all the way down to the basement.
Welcome to the OM.
Cortonio
Understandably so, and your points are well taken, but I feel that a brother who has a child/children shouldn’t be devoid of having a good woman. Many men take on women who have children, so why can’t the same be reciprocated. However, if he has 3 or 4 kids by 3 or 4 women than I see why an eye should/would be batted, but if he has 1 or 2 and things just didn’t work, I think he should be given a try. It’s just up to the woman to look past the children and give it a chance. And the major caveat is that he is not having any relations whatsoever with the mother of said child(ren). Being cordial for the sake of the children is one thing but that’s as far s it goes.
angazi
When it comes to “dressing provocatively” MOST of the time, it’s not for ya’ll (there are some attention whores out there). What you described above is a typical summer outfit for most ladies. We’re trying to stay cool and maybe get a little darker, especially us lightskinned sistas lol. I’m not one to wear short pants/skirts (I’m just not comfortable in them), but I wear v-necks which get me unnecessary male attention at times. While I understand that I do have an amazing rack, I don’t want male attention. I’m just tryna keep my boobs from sweating lol. And skirts and shorts? More airflow down there. So just please keep that in mind the next time you see a woman being cat called.
Another point I’d like to make, when we’re at the club we have no power over what is being played. We’re not there to be feminists, or debbie downers. We know what kind of music is going to be played, but for the sake of having a good time and not bringing down the group, we try to ignore the words and focus on the music, which is much easier in a fun, carefree environment like a club or party. Also let’s be real, some of these songs have some good beats. I’m not saying that’s right, but that’s just how it is. You won’t catch me listening to most popular hip hop/rap throughout my day to day life because the lyrics are just shitty in addition to being degrading to women, but at the club/party I’ll bob my head, tap my foot, and maybe even dance a little all in the name of fun.
Sorry if I was a bit long winded.
Mr SoBo
Not long winded at all. You made some good points.
Welcome to the OM.
Cortonio
So if the song mentioned in the article played and women were actually dancing to it and performing that wouldn’t be an issue? I understand dancing to the beat, that’s fine but to actually sing the lyrics? I dunno. When I was at this event that song (there’s some whores in this house) played and the women were carrying on as if the song was about them. I wasn’t the only one that gave the proverbial ‘side eye’…LoL
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christopherskipwith
AJ and I had this convo just the other day. Lately he’s been on a whole string of “side-eye” inducing women. The funny thing is that our female friends completely understand why the women are “side-eye” inducing, but the women themselves don’t. Of course, this causes strife between them.
Cortonio
exactly, it’s funny how people can pick up on some things that others do but when they do the same thing they don’t realize it….
Soulflower
This was hysterical, I am wiping tears from my eyes. 🙂
I am 58 years young, so I have done some of these things myself, and now know better.
However, I did marry a “nice” guy who had a child, and we had a great 17 years together before we grew apart. There were some issues in the beginning with my being “Number 2” in his eyes, but the benefits far outweighed the negatives. I had wonderful experiences with him that I had never even dreamed of (far too many to mention here). But he treated me with love, kindness and dignity every day we were together and I cherish the experience and how much our marriage helped me to grow and develop as a human being.
Finally, it is possible to dress appropriately and stay cool (ex. Alfre Woodard, Angela Bassett, Michelle Obama to name a few famous women). Class and good taste never go out of style!
Cortonio
First off, thanks and welcome to Opinionated Male. I am glad you enjoyed the article. I totally agree with your commentary on Alfre woodard (always one of my favorite actresses) Michelle Obama, and the seemingly ageless Angela Bassett. It amazes me she was in “Boyz in the Hood” in 1991 and 23 years later she looks virtually the same. And yes, learning from past experiences is always a good thing. I am firmly in the belief that experience is the best teacher.
https://shinyessays.com/blog/essay-writing
If you really look at this whole situation like that, then it really becomes clear the misunderstanding that arises between men and women.