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Sex & Relationships

Do Most Men Really Want the ‘Perfect’ Woman?

She cooks, cleans and makes a decent to good living. She’s funny and fun to be around, pleases you physically and is easy on the eyes.

Sounds good huh? Would you still want her after 6 months? 2 years? Longer? Is she marriage material or ‘bust down’ material? Is she someone that’ll do for the moment or for the long haul? This ladies and gents begs the question: Is there a perfect woman out there, and what makes her perfect?

I’ve heard a range of commentary from men stating they “want a carbon copy of their mother” to “as long as she’s cool and gives me some pu$$y”.  In reality the better question is, what are the real expectations men have from women? Mr. SoBo wrote a piece a while back on what makes a woman good catch (What Men Really Want: A Woman’s Guide to Being a Good Catch) and it was pretty spot on. However, I took some time out to ask around and in some cases carry on conversations about what makes a perfect woman. Some of the men I spoke with were married, single, or involved in relationships. And their responses were pretty similar all around but here’s the thing: What if you met THEE woman and she’s still not good enough in your eyes?

There are a number of men who are always looking for something new or different. It can be a restaurant, a pair of new kicks, a vehicle, a new gym, whatever. Some of us seem to always be on the hunt, and in some cases even for a different woman. Why is that? I mean think of it, at least 50-60% of divorces end in – you guessed it – infidelity. And some speculate the reason for that is complacency or a lack of ‘that thing’ that was once there but had waned considerably. In some cases, maybe it wasn’t there to begin with. Regardless fellas, there was something that caused you to gravitate towards that woman and because ‘that thing’ is gone (or not), you go on the hunt for another (or others).

If you’re married for years, even decades does that mean she’s perfect for you? Or is it that you feel compelled to stay because of children, money, assets, or the smear of the dreaded ‘D’ word? When I was much younger, I was told by several men who were older and experienced, “If you are/were going to look for another you should move up not down”. While it was sound advice (I guess) what would constitute moving up? If she’s a well to do woman but doesn’t please you as well as you’d like and you leave her for a ‘subsidized housing’ woman who’ll lick, suck and leave your toes curling all the time, is that upward movement? If your woman does everything for you but she’s not close to being Halle Berry-esque in terms of looks and you go to a woman who is Meagan Good’s twin, and that’s pretty much all she has to offer is THAT upward movement? So do men really desire the perfect woman or just something to get them by in the meantime? I guess this is a question we can never answer. Or can we?

Chime in and let me know what you think.

Is there a perfect woman out there? What are your thoughts on my thoughts?

Peace and Bless

My motto is, "Live, love and laugh". Check me out in the "Men Behind The Pen" section on

One Comment

  • Finally

    If this is what it comes down to for the guy (s) then it’s no wonder our world looks like it does. All of us want what we want, and if it’s an inanimate object, go for it. But people are people and looking for cookie cut-outs does nothing for the betterment of humanity. Much of the time, if we’re honest, we don’t even fit our own molds for what we ourselves want to be. So, how can we expect it of another human being? Having preferences and being drawn to types are human nature but no one is going to fit your list 100% all the time. The beauty and burden of humanity is adaptation. Even mail order won’t get you off the hook w that. Know better, do better, be better.

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